Going Political

I've never been a political person. Ironically, there are a lot of connections in my life that are politically-inclined. My godfather is a current Mayor and former Senator. My parents used to associate with politicians on a regular basis and even my extended family and friends have ties to prominent politicians. As for myself, I was proudly ignorant. I was content with not knowing what was going on with our country and just relied on friends for news.

And then I discovered The West Wing. I was in college and after class, I was just looking around at the DVD section of a bookstore, trying to find a good TV series to watch. I saw The West Wing and even though I didn't know anything about the show, the critical acclaim was enough for me to try it out. It turned out to be my all time favorite show. And then I discovered The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report. After that, there was no turning back.

The last few years, my interest in American politics have only grown thanks to the romantic portrayal of The West Wing and the satire from The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. I've also started to research the comparisons to our politics, which slowly strengthened my interest in global politics in general. By 2006, I can name you the states that the Democrats won that enabled them to have a Senate and House majority for the first time this century. By last year, I could enumerate all 9 Supreme Court justices and where their political beliefs lie. This year, however, is all about Barack Obama and John McCain.

So yeah, I'm obsessed. I can tell you that Barack Obama has a 7 point lead over John McCain and that he has a 357 to 181 lead in the electoral map (A candidate must have over 270 to win; elections aren't decided by popular vote but by the electoral votes and the states that the candidates have won). I can tell you that Sarah Palin is an idiot because before she was nominated, she openly admitted not knowing what a Vice-President does and that she thought she had foreign policy experience because Alaska is close to Russia. I can tell you that the current election is the perfect storm for democrats due to an unpopular Bush administration and the focus of a near-depression economy (democrats are regarded as better on economy while republicans as better on national security). And finally, that Senator Barack Obama represents change.

How does this affect you and me? We don't live in the United States but we are the most americanized country in Asia. Our supreme court routinely references to US supreme court rulings as if we are subject to their laws. Our legislators routinely look to new American laws as guidelines for how they should write theirs. The whole world looks to the last superpower, that's why their economic problems are felt throughout the global economy.

This is one of the most important elections in recent memory, not just for the United States, but for everyone else as well. I think it's important for a person to be clear about what they believe in. For myself, I'm a liberal and I think it's pretty cool that a black man is on his way to becoming President. I think it says a lot for a nation that thought black people didn't have the same rights until the 60s. It's not just about his race. I agree with his platform (that's one of the things our country should emulate. We should have platforms, not just vote on personality. We don't know anything about politicians, they'll say anything to get elected, but political platforms are a matter of record).

I think the government(ours and theirs) should explore alternative energies. I think the government should help stop global warming. I believe in the separation of church and state. I believe in equal rights for men and women, no matter their race or sexual preference. I think our government should legalize abortion, because while I dont' think that people should do it, banning it has caused a lot of maternal deaths and hospitalization. Research says that abortion is directly corrolated to poverty, thus, the more the government helps out the poor, the less people will be inclined to abort their babies.

I'm really enjoying this presidential race. It opened my eyes to issues that affect people and it also opened my eyes to our own politics and how our lives are affected by the governments' actions. I also like the fact that there are polarizing opinions, because ideas are formed by debate, not by one side blindly agreeing to everything. An Obama presidency would moderate the currently conservative court.

So anyway, it's 2am and I'm still up reading the election coverage from the New York Times, Time.com and Newsweek. I love the strategy that goes in it. The strategists decide where the money should go and which battleground states to focus on. It's like war. I think that's what I enjoy the most about the coverage. Currently, the Obama campaign is ahead in almost all battleground states, so John McCain has a lot of ground to cover and he's got one debate left to steer public opinion.

There's not a lot of time left and Obama looks to be pulling away. As for me, I'll still be tuning in. History is about to be made and I wouldnt dare miss it.

When we were young

I just read Ange's blog entry about memories when we were a lot younger and I just couldn't remove 3 specific clear incidents from my head it just kept popping up!

The first one was the English Teacher Ms. Bautista at Grade 6, more commonly recognized as J to the fourth power: Jumping Jelly Jumbo J*g&. On one of those spelling exercises where new random words were introduced to us by way of graded, unaided, drills. (which in hindsight, is a less than effective practice). This was grade 6 already, so we were expected to know more complex English words perhaps with French or Latin roots. And so on she went with her yet inaccessible vocabulary words that we had to attempt to recall, provided we had encountered it prior, or in most cases, attempt to construct out of imagination.

I don't know why but this specific memory is still so vivid after so many years. There was Miss J in here plaid-yellow school-issued uniform 3 sizes smaller than what sould be appropriate to her 250 pound frame. I recall Sharon and I making jokes about her corset which through mean-spirited gossip we assumed she needed to fit into her uniform. For reasons that defy natural biology the woman's side profile was as wide as, or even wider than, her front profile. It either seemed that either God was trying to endow somebody with a gift and screwed up, or decided to play a life-long prank on her. So there she was slugging out words careful to enunciate as clearly as she could, in her capable knowledge, these new vocabulary for our education. She did it with such fake superiority that it emulated an inappropriate and poorly attempted bourgeiosie accent, like a pompous autistic Ukranian. And then there it was, the action that forever would change my outlook on the school system and on education itself; with her high and mighty over enunciation, Miss J slithered out the syllables: "REN-DEZZZ-VOOWAHH" and she did it again, this time with her ass sticking out as if each word had to enter through a receptacle from behind and get processed somewhere en route to her mouth "REN-DEZZZ-VOOWAHH". What the hell was that? It was supposed to be English but coming from her mouth it sounded like a dirty word that old men use to seduce 12 year olds in their radical child pornography tapes: "REN-DEZZZ-VOOWAHH, A meeting place, REN-DEZZZ-VOOWAHH"

Thank God for Johnny Quest. It had this one episode where Johnny's adopted Indian brother Hadji showed him a map pointing to one grid marked "rendezvous point". Thank you Cartoon Network.

The next memory comes in third year with Ms. Celestial. Yet another vivid one but slightly more disturbing. A lesson on parallel sentence construction yields the sentence: "I called for the waiter and ordered a salad, some fries and a steak." Which seem decent enough, even elementary in thought. No one would expect how elementary it would go in practice such that instead of ordering a cooked cut of beef from the forementioned waiter, the third year English teacher, in spelling, ordered a piece of wood that Buffy, Blade and all the other heroes and heroines use to vanquish evil vampires. The sentence stood there on the lower right side of the blackboard for 15 whole minutes while she expounded on the parallel construction of the enjoyable meal she was about to consume of vegetable, starch, and evil-fighting weapon. The faces of the few I saw who also recognized the mistake didn't know what to do: Avril in front of me with a look of bewilderment, you can almost hear her say "HA?!!" through her eyes; Tonio 4 rows in the back on the next column of seats was laughing in disbelief; Jim 5 columns to the left and one row back with a look of shock on his face, also looking around for another soul that recognizes the ghastly comical error which seemed to get more loaded with tragic comedy as time passed by. "Perhaps this is a dream?" He must have been thinking. It really wasn't.

My most enjoyable one comes at the expense of one of the more respected teachers. 2nd year Asian History Class with Mr. Blancaver, The Mandate of Heaven. He was explaining with his trademark impassioned oratory, the observed process by which a Chinese Dynasty gains control of the country and the cycle of wealth to arrogance to fall of each ruling family. He had a supercilious structure imposed on the whole phenomenon: "After an uprising, a family gains the mandate of heaven and rules China. Then there is wealth and prosperity, but with prosperity, the children become arrogant and refuse to work for the people! So the farmers can't do anything and suffer! Then there is mass starvation. So the people revolt and the Mandate of Heaven is passed on." Blancaver says it with such great gusto that could only come from a religious, even cult-like surrender to an institutional body that renders anybody incabale of independent thought, that some find it endearing, even admirable. But this time it was just memorable. The thick accent and the heavy tongue doesn't bode well with his emotional speech. By the time he reaches the farmers suffering part he blurts out: "The farmers suffer so there is MASSTARBAYSHON!" The first time woke up the ones who recognized the very potent joke in the situation. I literally saw the eyes of the people whose minds were dirty enough to recognize the joke light up. April, Jim, Beverly, Louis, and a few others were holding back laughter.

"Sir Blancaver sorry sir hindi ko na kopya yung last na sinabi niyo ano yung pagkatapos nung farmers?"

"MASSTARBAYSHON!" says him again with more gusto this time recognizing that his students were interested and drawing impetus to be more energetic and definite in his speech.

"Sir, hindi ko po maintindihan, dahil walang ginagawa yung farmers merong..."

"MASSTARBAYSHON! Because the farmers don't do anything, can't do anything there is MASSTARBAYSHON" this time enunciating with a calm but assured sense of worth like a loving mother bear caring for her cubs knowing that she has taken care of them and provided valuable knowledge for their future.

Good Times.

A thousand paper cranes

The paper crane is a well-known origami figure. Probably everybody in Japan has made at least one. Since ancient times, the Japanese have viewed the crane as a symbol of finesse, longevity, and fortune.

According to Japanese tradition, if one is able to fold a sembazuru orikata, or a thousand paper cranes within a year, the gods will be so pleased that they will grant you a wish.
One cannot write a story about sembazuru orikata without telling the life of Sadako Sasaki, one, if not the best example of determination and inspiration.

A child of the ashes

Sadako Sasaki was a young Japanese girl who lived near the Misasa Bridge, in Hiroshima, Japan. On August 6, 1945, when the atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima, Sadako Sasaki was just two years old. At the moment of explosion she was at her home, about one mile from ground zero.

Though the bomb did not kill her and she suffered no immediate injury, she developed leukemia when she was 11 years old. The doctor who diagnosed ordered immediate hospitalization, and stated that she would have, at the most, a year to live. She was admitted to the hospital on February 21, 1955.

Sadako had heard that a person could make her wish come true by folding a thousand paper cranes. Wishing for good health, Sadako began folding a thousand paper cranes.

Though she had plenty of free time during her days in the hospital to fold these cranes, she lacked paper. She would use medicine wrappings and whatever else she could scrounge up. This included going to other patient's rooms to ask to use the paper from their get well presents.
She died at age 12, before her project was completed, it is said, and her classmates finished folding her cranes for her after she died.

Sadako's classmates also collected donations from schools throughout Japan and used the funds to create a monument to children who had been victims of the atomic bomb. Piles of thousand-crane chains sent by people from all over the world surround the monument.

To people everywhere, the story of Sadako has come to symbolize the hope that no child will ever again be killed by an atomic bomb.

Sembazuru Orikata

I open to you my little red box. It is not a secret anymore that I was supposed to fold a garland of a thousand paper cranes of my own; a garland of a thousand paper cranes to please the Shinto gods; and in turn, for the gods to grant me a single wish.

One can look at it at so many ways, fold it in infinite creases, or try it for so many times, but the message was clear. Maybe, just maybe, the gods wanted me to wait this time around.

I'm thinking of an object.

Where the waves touch the shore, and from the clear blue horizon, rode a lady in red; with her trusty white steed, they galloped the shoreline; red bikini and all, she captured the imaginations of men and women alike.

This was being advertised lately in the TV:

“While Roxanne Guinoo is the newest White Castle 69 model, you (the lady viewers) could be the next model, after Glydel Mercado and her! The search is on for the next White Castle 69 model!

Send in your profile photos and compete in the newest, most prestigious search to be the next cheap liquor model where you’d ride on a horse along the shoreline of a beach with nothing but your red string bikini on.

Now, isn’t that cool?

And finally, this just in:

"Six months from now, Monterey would be making their own version of that very same commercial, where they would look for the most gorgeous woman who’d be willing to wear nothing but a string bikini, ride a bull across a grassy field, and model for meat."

My Porn Star Name

I've finally decided that after more than 17 years of formal education from pre-school to college that I'm going to market myself as a porn star. In fact, I already have a stage name.

Its "Wilson Bang".

You can call me Wilson Bang from now on. Not Wil-Pua, its Wilson Bang now.

I'm Bang, Wilson Bang. Maybe I can advertise myself as the local counterpart of Ron Jeremy.

No, I'd never do gay porn. I want to do Maria Ozawa though.

Imagine, the first Atenean to have ever PENETRATED the porn industry.

xxx

I remember one time when I have this rocker chick blockmate who was holding more than a dozen pulp magazine asking me if she could put those in my almost empty backpack. So I said sure, why not? So after putting all those heavy magazines into my backpack, she suddenly asked me

"Wilson, Bakit ang chaka mo?"

Sipain kita diyan eh. Pagkatapos mo lagay mga magazine mo tatanungan mo ako ng ganon.

xxx

So Rica Peralejo has all of a sudden been the darling of this year's Ateneo ORSEM. Why?

She's a freshman taking up creative writing.

Rica be mine!!!

I wonder if its appropriate for me to print a scene in one of her past bold movies then ask her to autograph it.

xxx

Schmitt Hall is being renovated this year. I had a chat with one of the construction workers. Apparently, he's a member of the spirit questors. Yup, those people who talk with ghosts that are still not at peace with their deaths.

One of the most haunting stories he told me was how one family was cursed because their ancestor killed three of her maids. They later found out that every male related to the murderer would die after living in the haunted house for three days. He saw how the ghost form has been mutilated such that there was even a wooden cross stuck into the ghost's vagina.

Pretty freaky.

What's more freaky was that later that night, two construction workers working in the attic of Schmitt Hall ran down very frightened because they claimed to see the ghost of a caucasian wearing priestly robes. Their description fitted the image of Fr. Schmitt.

S & M [part 1]

Good evening my dirty little city. It’s good to be writing again.

It’s time to do something more impossible than solving world hunger, than boiling the ocean. Tonight, I’ll be answering the quintessential problem that baffled even John Nash.

To solve the incredibly long service times in Mc Donald’s.

How many times have you walked into a sardine-packed Golden Arches and went through the hassle of waiting in line for more than ten minutes, only to realize that you’d have to wait five to ten more minutes to eat your Big Mac because the food that you want still has to be deep-fried (syn. cooked/prepared)?

Now, upon getting your order, paying your five hundred pesos to the cashier (who’s also the person serving you the food), and having to wait another five minutes, because the cashier is short-changed, you lift your tray and you weave through the thick lines and precariously dodge the first rows of chairs and tables, which are frustratingly placed too close to the line.

Well now, I can see that you’re nodding your heads in affirmation. Boys and girls, it’s time to apply what we’re learning in school (you have been listening after all, haven’t you?) and put the shit that’s stored in your ‘noggins into practical use.

Let’s apply Six Sigma and 5S to Mc Donald’s

Of Americans and why everything about them falls short of six

Six Sigma (6σ) is a system of practices originally developed my Motorola to systematically improve processes by eliminating defects (wiki).

Defects, on the other hand, are defined as units that are not members of the intended population (wiki). This is statistically defined as having 3.4 defects per 1,000,000 transactions (in layman’s terms, not having more than 3.4 cases of deviations beyond the allowable variance per 1,000,000 products or services). To easier understand the Six Sigma philosophy, here’s a breakdown of the number of defects per million transactions, and where 6σ is placed:

The Sigma Levels
Sigma	Percent Defective	Defects per Million
1	69%	691,462
2	31%	308,538
3	6.7%	66,807
4	0.62%	6,210
5	0.023%	233
6	0.00034%	3.4
7	0.0000019%	0.019

For our case, we want to improve the number of customers being served satisfactorily in McDonald’s. Of course, in reality, a Six Sigma project should not have the solutions identified yet. For the sake of this post, let’s pretend that we don’t know the solution yet and we’re going through the process together.

DMAIC

One of the key methodology in Six Sigma is DMAIC, which stands for:

Define – which concerns the problem statement, the objective statement, necessary for identifying the problem.

Measure – which is about understanding the process, validating data accuracy, determining process capability, and setting baseline data.

Analyze – which is basically about forming the relationship of Y = f ( X ) + e (of causality), and screening for potential causes.

Improve – which is about determining, validating, and implementing solutions to achieve the objective statement, and

Control – which is about implementing process control methods and monitoring performance to sustain results.

Finally, to operationally define being served satisfactorily is, it is the amount of allowable idle time where a customer starts to fall in line, to transact their order, to receive a set meal (that is prepared consistently x% of the time. This should be another six sigma project), and sitting down to eat the meal. All of these should be done in about 4 minutes. Taking into consideration the maximum allowable variance of ±1 minute, the ideal time should be between 3-5 minutes (prescribed optimum are estimates, for the sake of discussion). Too early, and errors on food preparation, and money changing may arise. Too late, and customer satisfaction is diminished.

The below figure summarizes the macro process model for a Mc Donald’s cashier-cum-crew in taking orders (sorry for the grubby resolution).

The process begins with the cashier clearing the serving area of clutter from the previous transaction, prepares the tray, and takes the order from the customer.

The cashier then double-hats into a crew role and gathers the order list from the serving bay.

Three control points are first being asked in the general process: 1. does the order contain drinks? If yes, the crew proceeds in preparing the drink. 2. does the order contain sundaes? If yes, the crew proceeds in preparing the sundae, and 3. does the order contain food that needs to be cooked? If yes, the crew instructs the mess crew to prepare the orders and prepares them accordingly.

After putting everything together onto the tray, the fourth control point questions if the entire order list is accounted for.

The cashier issues the receipt, and the final control point asks if he is short changed or not. Everything easy so far?

Now, another quality improvement methodology that would come to play is 5S.

Of Japanese and why everything about them falls short of five

5S is a philosophy that originated in Japan, and is about the way of organizing and managing in the workplace. The key impacts of 5S is upon workplace morale and efficiency. By ensuring everything has a place and everything is in its place then time is not wasted looking for things and it can be immediately obvious when something is missing (wiki).

The real power of this methodology is in deciding what should be kept and where and how it should be stored.

This dialogue builds good clear understanding amongst a workforce of how work should be done and instills an ownership of the process when done efficiently. It is often, therefore, executed in partnership with standard work, which are operations for which these things are used (wiki).

The name derives from its five principal philosophies in Japanese characters, which all begins with “s”.

SSSSS

The 5S’s are:

Seiri – tidiness, organization

Seiton – orderliness

Seiso – systematized cleanliness

Seiketsu – standards

Shitsuke – sustaining discipline.

Identification and objective statement

As a company, the time duration for serving foods are not meeting the scheduling requirements. Overall, this is causing customer dissatisfaction, layout problems, and manpower deployment issues, as well as resource issues, that are costing the company as much as x in lost revenues and x for unnecessary expenditures per year.

We want to reduce the service time from an average of x to 4 minutes, with an upper limit of 5 minutes. this will meet the current maximum goal of x greater than x percent of the time. The new goal will be achieved by x month and year. it will support our serving efficiency goal (of that darn one time deal of being able to serve a customer in three minutes or less, provided that you take your order late at night and no one else is at the burger joint) and achieve an annual savings of x per month and significant implied projected earnings of x per month.

[End of part one]

Part two will talk about identifying areas of improvement. Again, these are all assumptions as there are no statistical information to establish baseline data.

Part two will also take a look at the macro process and reveal hidden processes that take up time (i.e. the rate at which fries are being deep fried are so slow that customers ordering would have to wait as new batches would have to be prepared to accommodate them).

Finally, part three will talk about applying the philosophy of 5S, in conjunction with Six Sigma. For example, the space between the first row of tables and chairs needs to be moved further from the cashier. More cashiers need to be open for service as too few ones are being used, hence the bottleneck effect, and manpower placement has to be thought of, i.e. those people who roam between lines and ask about your order, tallying them in teeny pads. Guess what, they’re not significantly improving the time of you being served. They might as well be put into better use as cashiers or crew people. The horizontal distance between cashiers should be extended as people carrying trays with their orders in it waste valuable time in dodging the lines (not to mention those pesky people who snug themselves across lines to pick up straws).

YeAHWEeH!

On a whim of anger and frustration against door to door Jehovah's witnesses and pretty much religion in general I thought of an idea that I would most probably get killed for...


YeAHWEeH! The world's first Bible theme park!

It's the next step from Daily Vacation Bible School for Kids and Families! We have rides like Elijah's Chariot where the kids are just swept up into the sky in a thrilling whirlwind of salvation! The Second Coming, a ride that will bring you to the heavens in holy resurrection only to drop you down back into the Earth for one last crusade! For the teens who like role playing, you can try out "What Would Jesus Do?" an interactive video game that gives you the power to cast plagues of locusts, frogs, famine and rivers of blood to dissidents and consistent healing and eternal life to the faithful in worship. Do not leave the park without getting autographs from your favorite prophet like Peter, Paul, James, John the Baptists' head, even Judas! Be sure to go on Rameses' Regret, the fastest, wildest and wettest chase you will ever experience!

Something for the kids? Let them have fun at Noah's Ark learning about animals and what do you call one family that repopulates the Earth. Try out our kid-friendly fishing boats where your children can have fun and catch loads of fish by following a secret voice from the shore. For the most obedient ones, we will give them a special experience of walking on water! Anytime you're tired feel free to try out our accomodations at Jonah's Whale. Hungry? Go for the Eat all you can buffet where we serve the best five loaves of bread and two fish in world! Don't forget to drop by the gift shop where you can have your very own Bible artifact: Joseph's Dreamcoat, the last few pieces of Sodom, a David caliber slingshot, Solomon's baby -an actual fetus split in half!- and your own cross for the family to bear and remember on the trip back home.

So visit us in YeAHWEeH! (I need a tagline, suggestions anybody?)



Well... that's it, I'm going to hell.