( )

1.
Numb.
Dissociated.
Feeling my warm dripping blood.
Holding my wrist.
I hate myself.

2.
I hate myself because I am inhibited.
I hate myself because I am not trying.
I hate myself because I am afraid to try.
I hate myself because I am afraid to try to appreciate ( ).

3.
I cannot fathom nor comprehend ( ), but what I understand and more than anything, appreciate - is

what cannot be seen. ( ) Kindness, ( ) Wit, ( ) Depth, ( ) Sarcasm, ( ) Naivete, despite the

facade of vivid morbidity. ( ) Denial, ( ) Piety. And most of all, ( ) Uninhibited personality.

4.
I am at awe.

5.
IT -
"It" isnt blind;
You are just not perceiving.
You only perceive what they SEE.
What you WANT to SEE.

6.
Hear it. My angst. ( ) Concern.
Taste it. My saline wounds. ( ) Baked cake.
Feel it. My warm blood. ( ) Empathy.
Smell it. My death. ( ) Soapy hands.
But dont see it. You don't need to.

7.
I am different. Yet I am not.
I am inhibited, afraid to appreciate.
I am not raising ( ) into a pedestal.
I am lowering myself.


8.
I do not deserve this.

I am frustrated.
Leave me be.

( ).