YeAHWEeH!

On a whim of anger and frustration against door to door Jehovah's witnesses and pretty much religion in general I thought of an idea that I would most probably get killed for...


YeAHWEeH! The world's first Bible theme park!

It's the next step from Daily Vacation Bible School for Kids and Families! We have rides like Elijah's Chariot where the kids are just swept up into the sky in a thrilling whirlwind of salvation! The Second Coming, a ride that will bring you to the heavens in holy resurrection only to drop you down back into the Earth for one last crusade! For the teens who like role playing, you can try out "What Would Jesus Do?" an interactive video game that gives you the power to cast plagues of locusts, frogs, famine and rivers of blood to dissidents and consistent healing and eternal life to the faithful in worship. Do not leave the park without getting autographs from your favorite prophet like Peter, Paul, James, John the Baptists' head, even Judas! Be sure to go on Rameses' Regret, the fastest, wildest and wettest chase you will ever experience!

Something for the kids? Let them have fun at Noah's Ark learning about animals and what do you call one family that repopulates the Earth. Try out our kid-friendly fishing boats where your children can have fun and catch loads of fish by following a secret voice from the shore. For the most obedient ones, we will give them a special experience of walking on water! Anytime you're tired feel free to try out our accomodations at Jonah's Whale. Hungry? Go for the Eat all you can buffet where we serve the best five loaves of bread and two fish in world! Don't forget to drop by the gift shop where you can have your very own Bible artifact: Joseph's Dreamcoat, the last few pieces of Sodom, a David caliber slingshot, Solomon's baby -an actual fetus split in half!- and your own cross for the family to bear and remember on the trip back home.

So visit us in YeAHWEeH! (I need a tagline, suggestions anybody?)



Well... that's it, I'm going to hell.