That unmistakable whiff

Good evening, my dirty little city. It’s Wednesday again. Tonight, we’ll talk about shit that makes us jaded and cynical. Literally.

Hot damn.

March is fire prevention month here in the Philippines. To raise everyone’s awareness, and coincidentally, to give a whole new meaning to irony, a massive uncontrollable conflagration charred more than five hundred (that’s 500!) shanty homes in a Pasay City slum area last night.

Firefighters struggled overnight vainly attempting to douse the fire. It would have been a synch, considering that collaborative effort from the Binondo volunteer firefighters, and the media hyped techno-savvy Makati firefighter brigade are virtually neighbors to each other, but they had trouble smothering the heart of the heat since the shanties were so convoluted that the tankers couldn’t pass through. What the brave men did instead was to connect the ends of their hoses into one massive pressure hose, hoping that the water pressure from the hydrants would be enough to pump water forty feet.

And the most heartwarming sight? Tuning on the TV and seeing the townspeople helping each other, doing selfless bayanihan by passing pails of sewage sludge-water, freshly (if the term is apt) scooped from the underground septic tank.

Priceless.

xxx

Two poo

Here’s a lovely thought:

If the water in your toilet drains clockwise on the northern hemisphere and drains counter-clockwise in the southern hemisphere, what happens along the equator? Will it explode and spill excrement all over the bathroom?

xxx

Turd

Finally, in line with the theme for tonight, news has it again that our people’s champion has again decided that he will fight for the South Cotabato congress seat.

Not much can be said about the announcement (since it isn’t him who’s actually blurting them, and it wouldn’t be much of a surprise that he will be having an official spokesperson / scripted spiel), but one thing’s for sure, this dilly-dallying is not his decision, but rather, from the people behind his curtains.

Was that a hit below the belt?

Apparently, the impromptu proxy highschool equivalency examinations he took a couple of weeks ago wasn’t enough of a validation for the masses to be convinced that their champion has enough of a mental capacity, much more, political maturity, to serve as a legislator.

Everything would have been knock-out easy for everyone to comprehend on what the boxer wanted to convey if he just instead wore horn-rimmed glasses and stuck a fountain pen up his temple. Now, everybody thinks he’s ridiculous.

If one would take the time to piece together the individual events that lead up to the initial decision (or indecision) that he withdrew, it was when he went to Boom-boom’s bout in Cebu, together with Team Unity bet Chavit Singson and Liberal Party partisan Lito Atienza, and was unanimously booed and heckled by the fans.

Now ask yourself, who really pulls the punches?

xxx