As I was trying to sober myself up this morning when we (Stip, Dodong, Eug, and I) were still literally drinking the night away in a minimart (with the gayest cash register guy that one could ever come across, and drinking until the morning sun greets you and reminds you that liver cirrhosis is not your friend still didn't help to tone his fagness down), I remembered Eug’s story about his two Atenean friends who got their sorry asses kicked for no apparent reason.
I had a number of similar silly experiences in college too to some extent, and here are some of them. So gather around, little boys and girls, Uncle Glenn’s going to tell you about a little story.
Once upon a time some jerk named Michael (no, not Jan) treated his college friends to TGI Friday’s because he wants to show off his new discount card. So they went there one Wednesday afternoon and he told his friends to spend like the sky’s the limit, pero P4,000 lang. That cheap-ass.
Then as they were enjoying their buffalo wings, and on their fourth or fifth San Mig Light at that, Michael felt his cellphone vibrate. Another college friend texted him from school and told him that there was going to be a softball pitching and catching exam later in the afternoon (Michael and his friends intended to cut this PE class just to try the discount card and get drunk). So they finished their food, chugged all the remaining drinks, hurriedly returned to school, just in time for the test.
Now drunk, Michael couldn’t feel his hands in the catching glove even if he stuck needles through it (“oh, fucking no!”). His hand eye coordination was so poor that a lobotomized capuchin monkey could weild a bat and could hit an incoming ball better than him (well, the monkey’s bat would be itty-bitty. Cute). He failed both the pitching exam and the catching exam.
That night, as Michael was gathering his thoughts before ending the night, he learned his lesson. He cursed himself for letting himself be duped to buying that TGIF discount card, along with all the coupons, and vowed never to listen to any sales agent.
The end.
Enjoyed the story boys and girls? Next time, I’m going to tell you about the time when Michael once chugged a bottle of Bubblegum Lambanog and later realized that the unconsciously destroyed his college friend’s CPU by kicking it silly. Oopsie.
2 comments:
oh, are we telling drunk stories now? mine involved subic, calamares and bangenge hee. Other times that I remember include passing out in Bohol (my sister's friends put sleeping pills in my drink, which sounds hot, but nothing really happened, so it wasnt hot) and another time included "allegedly" hitting on a friend's sister (who wasn't even hot) here in New Zealand (but I don't think it's true, although I really did get wasted, that was 19 beer bong hits.. i miss keira)
heehee. grabe 19 beerbongs, that's about a gallon ah.
when you think about it, even if we combined all our drunk stories, it would never beat Wil "Frank the Tank" and Les' drunken moments.
My next drink toast will be to Wil's weak liver. Advance happy birthday, man.
heheheh.
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