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Gullibility Actuated by Erectile Stimulus

(Author's note: I originally intended to write this in the American Psychological Association format using good English, but laziness got in the way)

With nothing productive to do on a warm, sunny day, I decided to become entrepreneurial to benefit on the free time at hand. However,a general lack of capital and bankable business ideas have left me no choice but to live on my wits and wits alone. Thus was borne the idea to swindle people out of their hard-earned cellphone load credits.

The idea really was simple. All I have to do was imitate show-for-load babes on the internet through select channels on mirc. Finding a suitable channel was easy with the use of the find channel command. I was able to find the right channels which included among others #malibog, #kantutan and #seb. Then, I advertised myself on these channels as a horny 23 female living in ortigas alone and playing with two glow-in-the-dark dildos. Immediately scores of chatters messaged me privately. The number was so great that I had to close almost half of them since my Pentium 2 PC with 256 mb memory was slowing down (Its that many). I had to settle it by closing the windows of more than half of these horny sons of bitches. To cut the story short, I was able to swindle P350 cellphone load.

Funny how easy it is to cash in on the gullibility and horniness of Filipinos.

Some of the highlights included having someone named Sevilla send me P50 load and another one who has been fooled four times previously before passed me P100 load.

A short transcript of the sample chat is as follows, with me being xxxx:

21:56] waputero: hello [21:56] waputero: Buzz!! [21:56] waputero: U2 here [21:58] waputero: Buzz!! [21:58] waputero: di naman ako pansin [21:58] waputero: ( [21:58] XXXX: hi [21:58] xxxx: 50 pesos show for load until midnight [21:58] waputero: ayun.........nag reply din [21:58] waputero: ngek [21:58] waputero: [21:59] waputero: la man lang preview? [22:03] waputero: Buzz!! [22:03] xxxx: no preview, unfair to paying clients [22:04] waputero: kahit 30 secs lang [22:04] waputero: or 15 [22:05] xxxx: 25 pesos [22:05] xxxx: for that amount of itme [22:05] waputero: eh di fifty na lang....until midnight pa [22:05] waputero: globe ka? [22:06] xxxx: oo [22:06] xxxx: 0915(my no.) [22:06] xxxx: se 22:06] xxxx: send na [22:06] waputero: nde ka ba manloloko? [22:07] xxxx: trust me [22:07] xxxx: in my line of work, its bad to fool people [22:07] xxxx: i need trust to have people frequently watch me [22:08] waputero: all the way ba? nasend na waputero: naloko ata ako [22:17] waputero: ano na po? [22:17] waputero: Buzz

I calculated that if I earn P150 from swindling these horny assholes each day for a month, i'd get P4,500 load. That's as good as having a subscription.

That's it, and I apologize for the messy, incoherent thoughts.