I spit in the face of people who don't want to be cool

Wrestlemania is this Sunday (monday to us).

Yeah, I know. It's wrestling crap. But hey, when you're here in quiet NZ with not much to do, you start appreciating mindless entertainment. So yeah, I guess I've seen more WWE here than I would if I was back home. And yes, I'll be wasting money to buy Wrestlemania on pay per view this monday only because a) Wrestlemania only comes once a year and b) I've never paid for pay per view ever and I always wanted to do it.

So okay, here are the matches.

The main event? For Raw, John Cena takes on HHH for the first time for the WWE title. and for Smackdown, it's a triple threat matchup for the World Heavyweight title with Kurt Angle, Rey Mysterio and Randy Orton battling for the honor.

The other matches include Kane/Big show vs Carlito/Chris Masters, Some boogeyman dude vs Booker T and his "wife", Trish Stratus vs Mickie James, Shawn Michaels vs Vince McMahon, the Undertake vs Mark Henry, Mick Foley vs Edge, Chris Benoit vs JBL, and of course, the Playboy pillow fight between Torrie and Candice Michelle. Oh and a money in a bank match with six losers from Raw and Smackdown.

What am I excited for: Well, not much actually. I really enjoy Cena's entrance music so that's probably the most I'm excited about which isn't really complimenting the whole thing. I really think this whole main event with HHH being the bad guy is sooo played out because I remember when I was watching regularly with the Rock, HHH was also the bad guy. Why couldn't they get another bad guy for this, I don't know. Anyway I'm excited for that only because of the entrance music and entrance of John Cena, that's it. Oh and Cena sometimes looks like trying a little too much with way overacting with the facial expressions. It's kind of funny and boring at the same time.

I'm also excited for the Trish Stratus and Mickie James match. They really made Trish look like a champion and she's got the aura of a champion thing down now. Remember when she was with T&A and she was getting bodyslammed to a table by the dudleys?

I'm also a little excited for the playboy pillow fight for obvious reasons. But then again, I'm not really excited. I'm just not bored about it, I guess. For one, I'm not really attracted to anyone (if they had Stacy Keibler, Lita, Trish or that new Ashley chick there, it'd be a different story) and two, these matches are usually awkwardly done.

Oh and I'm really really excited for anything involving Carlito. He's cool heh.

The triple threat looks alright only because Kurt Angle looks really cool these days. He's got the deranged overcompetitive champion down good. He's basically playing Ken Shamrock, in case you didnt notice.

I really hope Stephanie McMahon pops in there too.

What I'm not excited for: Old timers who are still there. Ric Flair, HHH, Vince McMahon, Mick Foley, Undertaker, Shawn Michaels, I'm talking about you. Also, Mark Henry on wrestlemania? Wasnt he the dude who made out with a tranny before? I mean Ric Flair is freakin 500 years old. I'm tired of anything with Vince, Shane McMahon involved. We've been having Vince screws someone plots since the 90s. Shawn Michaels reminds me of Steve Nash so I can tolerate him. The Undertaker is in a casket match... Again. Mick Foley.. well it's sad. He shouldnt really be wrestling anymore but I read that his ambition is to be the United Nations ambassador to the Philippines so I will have to tolerate him for patriotic reasons lol.

Oh and I really really want to punch Randy Orton in the face. Either he's a really good actor which I dont think so or he's really that annoying in real life.

What the WWE needs: The Rock. I miss the Rock. Oh and the pirate guy. Did you know they have a pirate on the smackdown roster? He even does the swinging on a rope entrance and says Arrrr. He and Carlito should just team up and rule the WWE. Oh and Batista. They really should do the Cena vs Batista Wrestlemania match. Maybe I'm just feeling bad cause JP Batista's Gonzaga choked against UCLA.

Why am I watching again: I don't know. After more than 500 words of pseudo-analysis, the only reason I've come up to watch this thing are these: Cena's entrance music, Kurt Angle, Trish Stratus and Carlito. Oh and because I've never subscribed to a pay per view show before. But isn't that kind of a waste of 20 or 30 dollars? Well yes. But still, I don't have anything better to do on a Monday Night, so Wrestlemania here I come.