Sympathy for the Bastard

[Wot’s red and his name spells S.A.N.T.A.?]

Allow me to introduce myself; I am a man of wealth and taste.
I’ve been around to Greenhills the other day, with my mum, uncle and aunt
To do some last minute shopping. Yeah, it’s a little too late.

I stuck around in Theatre Mall, when I saw it was time for a rest.
Met Ben and Odell, wooh boy, both of them sure did jest.
And of course, much to my embarrassment and disgust,
Mum made the preverbal remark about Odell. Aghast!

Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name.

Of course, I have to tell you,
I watched with glee while this dear four year old
Cried and cried, for reasons I have yet told.

Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name.
Ah, but what’s puzzling you? Is it the nature of my game?

My last stop was at the Vira Mall, yeah I’m off,
To look for furniture for my January loft.
And just as every man should mind his own business,
This guy in a Santa suit need be reminded of his carelessness.

I almost broke a vase, yes I,
Because of him, that bumped into me.
I guess he was in too much of a hurry,
But damn you Kringle, you’re in my eye.

Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name.
Ah, but what’s confusing you? Is it the nature of my game?

I wasn’t going to let him go, of course, not I.
Down I went to the fireplace,
To meet the schmuck, face to face.
But no, I didn’t lash out at him, to get back at him is only too small of a fry.

With all my breath, I shouted until my lungs cramped to an ache,
In front of all the innocent little children, eager to sit on the red guy’s lap,
“SANTA CLAUS IS FAKE, SANTA CLAUS IS FAKE!!!”

Just call me a bastard, because I’m in need of some restraint
But I got back at you, you lousy saint!

Pleased to meet you, hope you guessed my name.
Ah, but what’s troubling you? Is it the nature of my game?

Of course I was escorted by the elves, who got their irk,
But I left that place content, smiling, with a delightful smirk.

Oh, now I’m supposed to be guilty?
When after all,
It’s you, the parents, who really should be.

Pleased to meet you, hope you guessed my name.
Ah, but what’s baffling you? Is it the nature of my game?

So boys and girls, if you meet me,
See me, or bump into me,
Have some courtesy,
Have some sympathy,
Have some taste,

Use all your well-learned politesse,
Or I’ll lay your dignity to waste.

Pleased to meet you, hope you guessed my name.
Tell me; tell me, can you guess my name?
I tell you one time, you’re to blame.

Ooo, who
Ooo, who
Ooo, who
Merry Christmas,
Oh yeah!

[A: Satan.]

The Dance (Reprise)

[Because it's the 19th, This one-shot deserves a repost. =)]


There she was. An epitome of a lady that one could only have the blessing to meet, politely greeting everyone on every table, thanking them for attending her night on a cold December eve.

The thought of one having met a woman with just the right amount of wit, quirk, and the warmest of smiles would melt you right there, right on the spot. But all that I could do then was to wish the debutante all the best and celebrate the night with her, with all the others. This was after all, her night. I paid my courtesy, and sat down with my friends.

It felt like it was one of those nights when I wished that I should’ve hid inside my shell and sulked though the night away instead. If only I wasn’t so deluded to take ill advice from someone that I need not mention, things would’ve unfolded more naturally. No, don’t get me wrong, nothing bad happened, it’s just that I gave my trust to someone even more deluded than me. Hah. Am I the only one who’s not enjoying the night?

Just when I was dancing my despairs away, someone approached me.

"Would you care to dance with me?" she asked.

I hesitated. I wasn’t intending to slowdance with anyone, let alone be caught sharing my woes with her. But one look and you could tell that she’s not a little girl anymore. She had troubles too. I surprised myself by saying, “okay”.

She placed both her hands around my shoulders and I placed my palms on her waist. We danced and we talked. She told me all her troubles and I told her all my dreams, like I did in my sleep. We danced again and we talked. We danced and we laughed, and talked about the silliest things.

Personally, it didn’t matter that we danced for hours, and that everyone else stared at us. We closed our eyes and became blind. We just listened to each other.

It was the night where two hours seemed like just a dance.

For the "challenge"

The Multi Orgasmic Man
Publisher:HarperSanFrancisco | ISBN: 0062513362 | 2001 Year | PDF | 1.6 Mb | 256 pages

How many men can experience mutliple orgasms and dramatically enhance his sexual relationship.Offering men clear and practical guidelines for researching their real but seldom realized sexual potential, The Multi-Orgasmic Man vividly explores these extraordinary facts:
By learning to separate orgasm and ejaculation -- two distinct physical processes -- men can transform the momentary release of ejaculation into countless peaks of whole body orgasms.
Men who experience multiple orgasms -- by avoiding the fatigue and depletion that follow ejaculation -- report increased vitality and longevity.

download link :

http://rapidshare.com/users/YECA6O

Another (more decent) edition of...

Newsflash!

NEW YORK - Targeted largely at conservative Christians, it's a violent video game with a difference: Combatants on one side pause for prayer, and their favored interjection is "Praise the Lord."

Critics say "Left Behind: Eternal Forces" glorifies religious violence against non-Christians. Some liberal groups have been urging a boycott, and on Tuesday they urged Wal-Mart to withdraw the game from its shelves.

However, Troy Lyndon, CEO of Left Behind Games Inc., defended the game as "inspirational entertainment" and said its critics were exaggerating. He expressed greater concern about poor reviews from some video-game aficionados, saying the company would offer a free technical upgrade by Dec. 24.

Lyndon's company, based in Murrieta, Calif., has a license to develop games based on the popular "Left Behind" novels, a Bible-based end-of-the-world-saga that has sold more than 63 million copies.

Lyndon, in a telephone interview, said "Eternal Forces" has been distributed to more than 10,000 retail locations over the past four weeks. He said sales were going well, but declined to give specifics.

The real-time strategy game has received a T (for teen) rating, as its makers had hoped. It offers more violence than an E-rated children's game, but less graphically than M (for mature) rated games that have often been criticized by conservative Christian groups.

"Our game includes violence, but excludes blood, decapitation, killing of police officers," the company says on its Web site, noting that a player can lose points for "unnecessary killing" and regain them through prayer.

The game's story line game begins after the rapture, when most Christians are transported to heaven. Earth's remaining population is faced with a choice of joining or combatting the Antichrist, as embodied by a force called the Global Community Peacekeepers that seeks to impose one-world government.

The game's critics depict the ensuing struggle, set in New York City, as one fostering religious intolerance.

"Part of the object is to kill or convert the opposing forces," said the Rev. Tim Simpson of Jacksonville, Fla., who heads the Christian Alliance for Progress. "It is antithetical to the Gospel of Jesus Christ."

Simpson, whose group was formed last year to counter the influence of the religious right, joined in a news conference Tuesday at which he and other speakers urged Wal-Mart to discontinue sales of "Eternal Forces".

Wal-Mart indicated it would continue selling the game online and in selected stores where it felt there was demand.

"The product has been selling in those stores," said spokeswoman Tara Raddohl. "The decision on what merchandise we offer in our stores is based on what we think our customers want the opportunity to buy."

The game's makers contend that the violence from the good side — the Tribulation Force — is exclusively defensive, and should not be seen as contrary to church teachings.

"Christians are quite clearly taught to turn the other cheek and to love their enemies," the company Web site says. "It is equally true that no one should forfeit their lives to an aggressor who is bent on inflicting death."

Lyndon said he and his fellow executives hoped to ease critics' concerns.

"They're good-minded people," he said. "They want to keep us from making games that are jihad in the name of God."

Simpson, a Presbyterian Church USA pastor, said he was dismayed by the concept in "Eternal Forces" of using prayer to restore a player's "spirit points" after killing the enemy.

"The idea that you could pray, and the deleterious effects of one's foul deeds would simply be wiped away, is a horrible thing to be teaching Christian young people here at Christmas time," Simpson said.

Anther participant in the critics' news conference, author Frederick Clarkson, argued that "Eternal Forces" — though less violent than many other video games — was more troubling in some ways.

"It becomes a tool of religious instruction," he said. "The message is. ... there will be religious warfare, and you will target your fellow Americans, people from other faiths, people who you consider to be sinners."

Clarkson faulted Focus on the Family, a Colorado-based Christian ministry often critical of violent video games, for publishing a positive review of "Eternal Forces" on one of its Web sites.

"Eternal Forces is the kind of game that Mom and Dad can actually play with Junior and use to raise some interesting questions along the way," wrote the reviewer, Bob Hoose.

Other online reviewers — writing for hardcore gamers — have been less impressed.

"Don't mock 'Left Behind: Eternal Forces' because it's a Christian game. Mock it because it's a very bad game," wrote GameSpot reviewer Brett Todd.

On the Net:

Left Behind Games: http://www.leftbehindgames.com/

Game's critics: http://ga3.org/campaign/tell_wal_mart

What if...?

We underachieved?

Jeco - Fake evangelist na umaakyat sa mga bus along EDSA para humingi ng donation kuno

Jim - Door-to-door salesman

Eugene - taga-karga ng uniwide

Odell - Gigolo

P3 - Porn site developer

Lester - Repairs cellphones outside the MRT stations

Billy - Taga-drawing ng counterfeit money

Franz - mekaniko

hommage

old school baby!

Dragon Ball

So I just finished watching the last episode of Dragon Ball GT. I'm a little senti now cause of it. Yeah, I know, it's a little wussy to go all senti over a japanese cartoon, but hear me out.

What I like about the whole thing was that we saw the whole life of Goku. The difference between Japanese Anime against western counterparts is that usually, anime creators don't mind letting their characters grow. To put it another way, you'll never see what Ross and Rachel's grandchildren would be like; you'll never see who Maggie Simpson ends up marrying; you'll never see Eric Cartman go to college and you'll never see if Buffy ends up ridding the world of vampires. Dragon Ball is unique here, even to other Anime shows, because we got to see Goku as a kid, to how he met his eventual wife Chichi, to his son Gohan be born, to how he died several times, to how Goten be born, to his growing rivalry with Vegeta and many more storylines as the series progressed. We had a beginning and we had an end.

The finale was especially moving. After they dispatched of the bad guy, Goku ended up saying good-bye to all his friends, so we got to see a big chunk of characters that we saw in all stages of Goku's life. After that, we got a flash-forward to the future where Pan(Goku's grand-daughter)'s grand-son Goku Jr. was facing a kid who also looks like Vegeta (to perhaps show that those two were forever connected to each other). And then finally, we got a musical montage from Goku's birth to all the significant moments of the show and then, the show ended.

The only thing I didn't like about the last few shows was that they pretty much put Gohan in the background. There was a time when the show was built around him when he was the most powerful saiyan. Then, Goku came back again and Gohan lost most of his powers and that was pretty much it. He was pretty much a writer's tool (along with Picollo, Trunks, etc) to magnify how strong the new enemy is. So that sucked.

I hope you'll apologize the geek-rant, but I'm channelling my inner Japanese nerd here, so bear with me. What makes me warm and fuzzy about watching the finale is that I got to see a person's (or character's, whichever you prefer) evolution from his genesis. I find it really sad that one day, I will be that person, a little too old and reflecting on my childhood to where I am at that time. Perhaps I'll be playing with my grandchild as I reflect (shades of Vito Corleone on that one). Nevertheless, endings make me sad, especially a show that I've known when I was a kid. Yeah, I know the show ended quite some time ago, but I never got to see the finale till tonight. And so, goodbye Goku, thanks for the closure.

Alright, I'm done. Let's all forget this happened.

Noir, Pur, Superflu

“Your ex-girlfriend is dead.”

You hear this upon finishing your margarita. The sour taste of the lime became particularly strong, as if you ingested your own ill feelings toward her. It’s such an irony, really, that you heard this while celebrating with your friends on a fruitful gambling night.

“Screw her. She deserved to die in the first place.”

She was a harlot, who did away all her problems by drinking and by cavorting with rich men who overcompensate their tiny penises with their sheer wealth. I gave her all my attention, shared her all my thoughts, and provided her all the material things that she could ever want, yet they were never reciprocated. Her heart was so black that it resembled the starless sky in late November evenings, the blanket of soulless nights that envelope all your hopes for light. She died like the dog that she was.

You showed apathy and continued to drink.

The seemingly endless hours went on as your friend mumbled about her life. You notice that this year is particularly hot and dry, that the usual month at this time of the year should be accompanied by irregular drizzles and by cold air. You remember the feeling of shitting on toilet seats as cold as brushed stainless steel.

And while your mind was busy thinking of fecal matter, you heard one important word from your friend.

“Suicide.”

Like your bare ass kissing that ice cold toilet seat, it smacked you and made you realize that something’s amiss. No, not of the weather, but what really happened between the two of you.

The cloud of second hand smoke filled in the room as your friend continues his story of how she died, and you are becoming aware that your disbelief is slowly detaching you from reality. Every sensation is turning bland, turning mute, turning cold.

Deafening silence. From the ambient noise, and more importantly, from your friend’s voice. Even the sound of your thumping heart was muffled to a halt. You try to scream, and you yelled with all your pathetic might. You notice that everyone in the room frenzied to pacify you, yet everything is still devoid of sound.

They say that only deafening silence can accompany disbelief, and you felt like smacking guy who said that right on the face, for his words are a painful picture of the truth.

God turned off the volume of your cheap existential television. For half an hour you had to bear your distorted perception of reality (as if it wasn’t distorted enough), and for half an hour, you were catatonic.

Loneliness followed you all your life, like a mad, salivating street dog in unlit street alleys. And as if loneliness was not the worst thing that the cruel world cursed on to you, it is only now that you realize that its jagged fangs bit you and made you delusional the whole time.

“She left a note; it talked about you, only of you, and against you.”

It comes with so much pain and of catharsis that your love for her was nothing more of desperation, that the girlfriends you had before and after her were nothing more than patches, to cover up the sad truth that she rejected you for so many times, that she never really loved you.

Yes, she’s dead, but your love for her never really lived in the first place.

“Oh yeah, did you know that her name literally means ‘purely pure’?”

xxx

[Indeed, it was a redundant black and white love, one of polar opposites, one of idiosyncrasies. Dark black, light white, there are no such things. Yet ironically, it was then revealed that black was white and white was black. And more so, what was now white is purely pure. All of these realizations came in too late.]

Killer Laydown

Actual hand from two nights ago in the Auckland Casino

2-5 No Limit Holdem

I'm first to act and I get KK. I limp for 5 dollars. The button raises to 25. The big blind reraises to 80. I smooth call with my KK. The button calls as well. The pot is now at 242 dollars.

The flop is T83 rainbow.

The big blind bets 150. I fold my KK. The button folds as well, he had 99.

I ask the big blind what he had. He says 25 dollars for him to show. I quickly throw five 5 dollar chips to see his hand. He flips over AA. Boo-yah!

Short Post

Just read today that at the height of bowling's popularity in our dear motherland, three players dominated the sport's scene in our country and in the world. The first two players are Bong Coo and Paeng Nepomuceno. No surprise there, since we all know them primarily as bowlers. The third one might come as a surprise.

Clue : He's an ex-senator.

Answer : Tito Sotto.

Yes, Tito Sotto, the future brother-in-law of Pia Guanio, the campaign manager of the opposition when FPJ was gunning for the country's top post, the comedian, the FAMAS hall of fame awardee, was indeed a top bowler in the world at his prime.

The Other Side of Poker

So okay, I just came back from a poker trip over the weekend. My poker friends are all over NZ right now crashing the casinos, I separated with them for a couple of days as I have classes to attend. I'll be catching up with them again by the weekend though.

Anyway, it was a lot of fun, I cashed in a couple of tournaments, even though I'm quite the tournament donk. What makes me a really good cash game player is also what makes me a tournament pushover. Nonetheless, I still played my way to a couple of good finishes and even won a last longer bet (12:1) against them in one of the tourneys. In the cash games, I did even better and have really tailored a consistently winning style. That's probably good news for Wilson as the 10k challenge looks even more realistic as Christmas draws nearer.

Over the last year, I've really pushed myself in terms of being a poker player. In doing so, I've been exposed to the seedier side of poker. When you watch the World Series of Poker and other shows of that mold, it shows poker as prestigious and wholesome. The reality is that it's far from that. The buddies I've hung out with are professional gamblers, not just in poker. I've hung out with professionals who bet on sports, blackjack card counters and pros in all forms of casino games. One of them actually went with a blackjack team to Russia, a country with little blackjack rules, disguised their play and won a lot of money counting cards (they're thinking of trying that out in Manila, by the way). I also heard stories of gambling problems and once-friends who borrowed money and was never heard from again (one of them was a filipino who I met a couple of months ago. When I asked the guys where he's been, they said he borrowed money from everyone and then split town when they tried to collect. Sobering to hear). One of my buddies, the blackjack pro, actually loaned someone 18 grand and then never heard from him again.

It's really quite the world I stumbled into. These are gamblers who see money with lesser value than ordinary people. One of the players we played with, a fish who says his cousin is Joe Hachem, bets big on sports (I took 2000 off him in poker, by the way). While playing poker, he showed us a 13000 bet he made that Australia would score the first try (touchdown) in the Australia/England Rugby match. When an Australian player did score the first try, he jumped up the table screaming. I'd scream too if I won 27 grand. He says one of the gambling tricks he does is called "buying money". This means you bet on the favorite with a big bankroll. He finds a sure-fire match, like Roger Federer against a 100th seed or something like that and then he puts something like 200 000 on it. he'll only win around 20 grand for it, but it's such a surefire win that it's a once in a thousand upset for Federer the machine to lose. I agree with the logic, but I wouldn't want to be there with him if Federer rolls his ankle in the second set or something.

I'm not really judging what they do. I don't think I'm in a position to judge anyway. A better person than me said judge not lest ye be judged. I think I'm just saying that it's really easy to get sucked into this world. These guys throw around money like there's no tomorrow. Then again, if you win as much as they win, you'd probably spend a lot too. In New Zealand, a place with no rules and everything is absolutely legal, it's quite the pit to fall into. For once, I'm glad to have been raised relatively conservative compared to the rest of the world. The guys are amazed at how little gamble I have, especially for a poker player. I'll even make deals at last longer bets to make sure I end up with something instead of nothing. I guess I just approach it more of a business than a gambling hobby. I don't really lie on my bed at night thinking how to play AK from early position as some of my friends do. I don't have that kind of passion for poker that will end up with me living in Vegas waiting for the Series every year. I think I see this as something I happened to be good at and something I found that I can make a lot of money on. I like that next year, even if I have a job, I'll probably still make more money playing poker on the side. Best of all, if I wanted to go back to the Philippines on a whim, all I have to do is go to the poker room and I can get the money I need. It's that easy when you play with a winning style.

I'm at the school library now typing this. I'm waiting for my Business Statistics class that's about to start soon. It's really hard to be studious when you've just come from a trip where everything is exciting and fast-paced. It would be so easy to just take a job from a poker friend of mine and drop all this. I guess what I'm saying is that as much a poker player as I am, it's not what I want to do all the time. I'm excited with the direction Marketing and Advertising can take me and that's something no river-checkraise can beat.

Alright, enough ranting. Time to go to class.

Hotness Factor

I was randomly searching for articles on wikipedia where I chanced upon the Scoville Scale. Apparently, this scale is being used to measure the hotness of the varieties of Chili peppers but has been extended to other hot foods. The hottest pepper I found was the Naga Jolokia (found in India...they like it hot there) with a Scoville scale of 855,000 - 1,041,427.

What's more interesting though is that the standard issue pepper spray has a Scoville scale of 2,000,000 - 5,000,000. To put things into perspective, Tabasco sauce has a Scoville rating of a mere 2,500 - 5,000 while Cayenne pepper is on the 30,000 to 50,000 side of the chart. Now I understand why people grimace in pain after receiving a pepper spray treatment. Maybe someday we can buy a pepper spray and while somebody is drunk, spray some on his manhood. Or better yet, cut open the bottle and pour the whole content on his wiener or asshole hhahahahahahahahahahaha, what a wonderful torture idea.

Transformers the movie

i just found some interesting facts about the transformers movie just because i recently had a recall episode of old saturday morning cartoons when i learned that there's a Voltron movie in the works

Leonard Nimoy (Spock from the first Star Trek series) voiced Galvatron, the reincarnation of Megatron after he and Optimus Prime were killed.

Transformers the movie was Orson Welles' last movie he died right after he finished all his lines as Unicron.

Orson Welles' hated the movie and his character.

It was said that the transformers movie was supposed to be shown after G.I. Joe the movie came out. G.I. Joe had first issued their script which incidentally also had a lead character, (Duke) die as well. The G.I. Joe movie was delayed leaving the transformers movie enough time to be released first. The company handling both titles felt that having two lead characters die off consecutively would be too much for the audience and opted to not release G.I. Joe on theaters at all. Had the G.I. Joe movie been on schedule, Optimus Prime would most probably still be alive.

If there are any of you who like jimson, watch the West Wing. I just noticed an uncanny resemblance between Kup, the old transformer that was introduced in the movie as a mentor to Hot Rod, and John Spencer, the actor who plays White House Chief of Staff Leo Mcgary. Just something i realized just now.

I'm waiting on the download of the special Voltron episode where the Lion Voltron travelled across space to the area of the Vehicle Voltron and they fought together against Zarkon.

By the way my flight was moved a month earlier, i'm going home in around 56 hours. My lord, excited just can't satisfy what i'm feeling right now.

The Power of Stephen Colbert

Link

I've been thinking of what to post since I haven't done so in a while, but since I'm in a Stephen Colbert obssession these days, I figure there's no better topic than Mr Colbert.

One of the many things I like about the character of Stephen Colbert is that somehow he has an incredible influence on the real world. He was named one of Time's 100 most influential people because of that power he exudes and his army of die hard fans from the Colbert Nation.

The link above is an online article about how every politician he interviewed was re-elected, enjoying the infamous "Colbert bump", meaning a positive bump in popularity and votes after they appear on the show. New speaker of the house Nancy Pelosi once said that she doesn't get why politicians would risk looking foolish by appearing in those skewered interviews, but it seems like the answer is they get re-elected.

Speaking of american politics, I have something to confess. Because of my addiction to the Daily Show and the Cobert Report, I now know a lot about American politics, even going so far as monitoring the mid term elections and knowing every detail about it, from the states the Democrats picked up to take the Senate and the House, to the Senators involved. It's weird given the fact that I know next to nothing about Philippine politics. Given my ahiya's situation, I plan to learn all I can when I get home this Xmas. It's just really weird that I suddenly find american politics interesting now and how the Daily Show has made even watching CNN captivating. I guess I can chalk that up to the continuing influence Colbert has on me.

Post-Milenyo MOA

Talk about being in the eye of the storm. Here are some pictures that I took of SM Mall of Asia, just after Supertyphoon Milenyo struck, using my cellphone cam:

NBA lovers out there!

About four months ago, I download this great software called TVUplayer. Although it has less channels than the other internet tv players, it still contained my favorite channels like Star Movies, NBC (I get to watch Conan as it is aired in the US), CBS and Fox among many others. However, I never noticed this channel called NBA TV!!!

Damnit. I missed NBA opening night between the Bulls and the Heat (Big Bulls fan here) because our stupid cable operator (Destiny) doesn't carry the basketball channel. But that's ok, since the season's early and I can watch NBA games at the confines of my pc without hating Destiny Cable. How I wish I knew the existence of this channel from the very beginning. I even got to watch the live NBDL draft. Its really different from the NBA draft. Four guys, one talking on the speaker phone with the GM of the drafting NBDL team, the other on a laptop typing something, the other writing something and the last one who was in charge of the whiteboard were all the people in the draft.

Old School

Found this picture today. Couldn't find a better copy but I guess this would do.


I was the one who took this picture. It was a candid shot. Notice how each had different poses. It was teacher's day and the best CAT batch of all time helped in that day's preparation. The camera was intended to make snapshots of our physics project update (The project where Kwok made a car without wheels hihihihihihihihihhi spending 40k for a grade of 60 hihihihi priceless). Btw, teachers that attended that day still remember it as the best teacher's day ever. They even have a fresher memory of that year's teacher's day than last year's. With Jeco's Safari Patrol Siren and Jimson singing the Baywatch theme song.

Updated WWE superstars salaries

Below is the World Wrestling Entertainment superstars roster payroll that was taken from December of 2004 until March of 2006. The shown dollar amount beside each wrestler is the grand total that they earned from World Wrestling Entertainment in a one year period (downside guarantees, bonuses, and merchandise shares).

Some wrestler’s were given special privileges and bonuses in their contracts which can also be seen beside their total pay. All wrestler’s contracts begin and end at different months of the year, thus each shown amount is what that particular wrestler earned in a 365 day time period between December 2004 and Marchy 2006 (or however long they have been with the company).

All dollar amounts were rounded up/down (Example: $365,766 would be $366,000)”

I was suprised to see that there was a huge discrepancy between the salaries of Cade and Murdoch. Matt Striker, for all his appreances, apparenlty has the lowest salary, I wonder why....Simon Dean even has a higher salary than Matt Striker.

- WWE RAW SUPER STARS SALARIES -

– Triple H: $2,013,000 (Allowed the personal use of company jet (10) times per year. First class flight tickets, hotel accommodations, and ground transportation paid for every week)
– John Cena: $1,743,000 (First class flight tickets, hotel accommodations, and ground transportation paid for every week)
– Shawn Michaels: $1,045,000 (First class flight tickets, hotel accommodations, and ground transportation paid for every week)
- Big Show: $1,000,000 (Base salary)
– Kane: $ 851,000 (First class flight tickets paid for every week)
– Edge: $704,000
– Ric Flair: $508,000 (First class flight tickets paid for every week)
– Shelton Benjamin: $366,000
– Carlito: $319,000
– Gene Snitsky: $292,000
– Rene Dupree: $289,000
– Chris Masters: $253,000
– Rob Van Damn: $220,000 (Only received downside and royalties due to injury)
– Val Venis: $210,000
– Chavo Guerrero: $206,000 (Quit in April 2006)
– Jerry Lawler: $204,000 (First class flight tickets, hotel accommodations, and ground transportation paid for every week)
– Eugene: $189,000
– Rob Conway: $186,000
– Jonathan Coachman: $175,000
– Viscera: $130,000
– Tyson Tomko: $127,000
– Lance Cade: $118,000
– Rosie: $105,000
– Trevor Murdoch: $48,000
– Matt Striker: $43,000

- WWE RAW DIVAs SALARIES -

– Trish Stratus: $618,000 (Receives 20% of all Trish Stratus merchandise sold)
– Victoria: $275,000
– Lita: $286,000 (Mostly downside paid due to lack of wrestling)
– Torrie Wilson: $260,000
– Ashley Massaro: $131,000
– Lilian Garcia: $90,000
– Mickie James: $72,000
– Candice Michelle: $64,000
– Maria: $41,000

- WWE SMACKDOWN SUPER STARS SALARIES -

– Undertaker: $1,811,000 (First class flight tickets, hotel accommodations, and ground transportation paid for every week)
– Kurt Angle: $1,023,000 (First class flight tickets paid for every week)
- Batista: $813,000 (First class flight tickets paid for every week)
– John Bradshaw Layfield (JBL) : $786,000 (Five star hotel accommodations paid for every week)
– Randy Orton: $711,000 (First class flight tickets paid for every week)
– Chris Benoit: $488,000 (First class flight tickets paid for every week)
– Rey Mysterio: $414,000
– Christian – $396,000 (Switched to TNA last year Dec 2005)
– Booker T: $375,000
– Matt Hardy: $322,000 (Missed over $70,000 of pay due to firing)
– Late Eddie Guerrero: $372,000
– Mark Henry: $300,000 (Base pay)
– Gregory Helms: $277,000
– William Regal: $225,000
- Bob Holly: $217,000
– Nunzio: $186,000
– Paul London: $177,000
– Orlando Jordan: $145,000
– Johnny Nitro: $143,000
– Joey Mercury: $134,000
– Ken Kennedy: $133,000
– Simon Dean: $132,000
– Danny Basham: $130,000
– Doug Basham: $126,000
– Funaki: $124,000
– Psicosis: $122,000
– Steven Richards: $94,000
– Kid Kash: $62,000

- WWE SMACKDOWN DIVAs SALARIES -

– Stacy Keibler: $178,000 (Only downside paid during absence)
– Melina: $155,000
– Jillian Hall: $52,000

wwe superstars salary

Some salary brackets of WWE superstars (It was also reported that Bret Hart made the highest amount in wwe history in his last year as a WWE superstar with $6 million dollars)

$50,000-$99,000 per year

Most performers who are employed just for television, such as Terri Runnels and Tori, are in this wage bracket.


$100,000-$249,000 per year

In this wage bracket are such wrestlers as Jacqueline, Too Cool, Viscera & Midian. Each of these earns in the neighborhood of $200,000 a year.


$250,000-$499,999 per year

This is what most mid-card wrestlers in the WWF earn. In this bracket are Mark Henry ($300,000 per year until 2006), Taka Michinoku ($250,000) , X-Pac, Val Venis, Road Dogg & Chris Jericho.


$500,000-$999,999 per year

This is what some of the bigger stars in the WWF earn. In this bracket are Mankind, The Undertaker & HHH. Also in this bracket is The Rock ($600,000 a year 'downside' until 2005) but his actual earnings exceeded $2 million in 1999.


$ 1 million + per year

These are the big money earners in wrestling. In this bracket are Big Show ($1 million per year until 2009), Ken Shamrock ($1.1 million per year until 2001) & Steve Austin earned over $6 million in 1999.

Rainy day dossier

[Journal Entry: Mon Oct 30, 2006, 11:16 AM, here]

I love the city in the rain. The last of the second half monsoon rains is here; soft, on light wind, the sort of misty breeze that ruffles your hair like a playful little sister.

…If you have a little sister.

It’s those days where you’d spend the mornings quietly, by the natural light, and put your fragment of thoughts into writing.

Street children on the streets stop, now, to open their mouths, drink it down, cold and clean and fresh. You see them, and for a while, you contemplate about dropping everything and to jump right in with them.

Down the street, phonebooths, sidewalk screens, and smoke belched covered sidewalks are made new again by the water.

Don’t you wish that, for just one day, you could be that naiveté little sibling? That, for just one hour, you could play with those carefree street children? That, for just one second, you could be the rain?

A Friend Wrote This

Just wanna share it with you...

Nais kong ibahagi sa inyo ang namagitan sa amin
ng aking itay isang gabi. Hinding-hindi ko
makakalimutan ang gabing iyon. Malakas ang ulan
noonnguni't maalinsangan ang simoy ng hangin.

Ako ay nagsusuklay sa aking silid, katatapos ko
pa lamang maligo at nakatapis pa lamang noon.
Narinig kong kumakatok si Itay sa aking pinto.
Nang sagutin ko ang pagkatok niya ay sinabi niya
na kailanga n daw naming mag-usap at huminging
papasukin siya. Binuksan ko ang pinto at siya'y
kagyat na pumasok sa aking silid.

Laking pagkagulat ko nang ipinid niya at susian
ang pinto. Hinawakan ni Itay ang aking mga kamay,
hinaplos-haplos niya ang aking buhok, ang aking
mukha, pinaraan niya ang kanyang mga daliri sa
aking kilay, sa aking mga pisngi,sa aking mga
labi. Napasigaw ako.

"ITAY, huwag, huwag! Ako'y inyong anak! Utang na
loob, Itay!" Nguni't parang walang narinig ang
aking Itay. Ipinagpatuloy niya ang kanyang
ginagawa. Ipinikit ko na lamang ang aking mga
mata dahil ayaw kong makita ang mukha ng aking
ama habang ipinagpapatuloy niya ang kanyang
ginagawa sa akin.

Naririnig ko si Inay sumisigaw habang binabayo
ang pinto at nagpipilit na ito'y buksan , "Hayop
ka! hayop ka! Huwag mong gawin iyan sa anak mo!
Huwag mong sirain ang kanyang kinabukasan".

Subalit wala ring nagawa si Inay, hindi rin siya
pinakinggan ni Itay. Nanatili na lamang akong
walang katinag-tinag at ipinaubaya ko na lamang
ang aking sarili sa anumang gustong gawin ng
aking Itay.

Pagkalipas ng ilang oras ay tumigil na rin ang
aking Itay.

Iniharap niya ako sa salamin ay ganoon na lamang
angaking pagkamangha at pagkagulat sa aking
nakita. Magaling naman palang mag-make-up si
itay.

Nang gabing iyon ay nagtapat sa akin ang aking
ama. Bakla pala siya. Labis akong nagalak sa
galin g at husay ng aking ama. Naisip ko na
matutuwa ang aking boyfriend dahil lalo akong
gumanda ngayon. Niyakap ko si Itay at pareho
kaming napaluha sa labis na kagalakan. Masaya na
kami ngayon at nabubuhay nang matiwasay.

Lovingly yours,

BADONG

Dissecting Team Eugene and Team Lester

Jim’s The Definitive E vs. L (2006) was able to exhaust the contrasts and similarities between Team Eugene and Team Lester when it comes to the teams’ origins, purposes, resources, prowess, impacts, and legacies. As holistic as it initially looks, the post has unfortunately left one to hunger for a more philosophical and deeper meaning for the two. This post aims to expound and give the latent, symbolic, socio-political, and deconstructive levels of meaning to these polar alignments.

Introduction

Gow’s E vs. L of 2006 stated that the relationship between the two (team Eugene and team Lester) is similar to that of “An empire against a stabilized rebellion” (2006), and that “Team Lester spawned as a result of Team Eugene” (2006). Supporting statements from his posts were analogies of a government getting drunk with power and an emergence of a resistance to fight the corrupt (Gow, 2006). This leads us to the concept between the mainstream vs. the unconventional.

Correct? Yes and no. Yes, because it is mainstream vs. the alternative, and no, because it is not only so. It is also a microcosm for the balance of power, for power checking, and negation.

The roots of Team Eugene can be traced on early 2004, where people who got nothing better to do in the clique called the13 made a clique-fad called Team Eugene, whose purpose is to exercise and rejoice the doctrine and values that Eugene lived by. A defunct Friendster account is a testament to this organization’s impact to the society.

As time went on, the people who got nothing better to do in the13 got tired of having just one dominant clique-fad to make fun of and made a second polar opposite clique-fad called Team Lester to contradict all the doctrine and values of Team Eugene, just for the spite of it.

Parallelisms in History

This concept (mainstream vs. the alternative) is epitomized by the outcome of the Vietnam War, where Vietnamese guerilla tactics, a form of unconventional warfare, successfully resisted and the Americans and their knowledge of traditional warfare.

Secondly, national democracy rose as the counterpart to the political ideology of communism (power checking) during the Cold War.

Finally, team Lester’s emergence is the need to negate Team Eugene, just as Agent Smith negated Neo in the Wachowski brothers’ Matrix trilogy (1999, 2003).

Symbolism

Now, for a more symbolic interpretation, one would only need to take a look at the first letter of each team’s names – the letters “E” and “L”. From observation, one would be able to conclude that the “L” emerged from the “E” (signifying team Lester emerging from team Eugene), as it is similar in writing to the other, only with two less strokes. Negating the two letters, one will be left with two horizontal strokes, the “=”, or the equal sign (when you negate the two teams, what is left would be something that's equal, implying and exemplifying that they cancel each other out).

Socio-Political Meaning

Yours truly went through the effort of validating each team’s socio-political alignment by answering a political compass survey (http://politicalcompass.org) with each Team’s psyche in mind.

Basically, Team Eugene’s core value is that one would lean himself to a particular alignment that would serve him best depending on the season, while Team Lester’s core value is based on popular policies and democratic tendencies.

Results showed that Team Eugene's political alignment is Authoritarian Centralist, while Team Lester is Libertarian Rightist.

Deconstructive Level of Meaning

Therefore, if one wishes to answer the question of who is better than the other, the probable answer is that it is only a matter of preference and perspective, because in the end, no team would rise over the other. It is a most unfortunate eternal struggle.

One team cannot simply exist on its own. It has to negate the other. Because if not (and one would win over the other), dystopia will definitely arise.

Papayag ba kayo na panay daga sa mundo o kaya panay dota na lang ang mananaig? Tha'd be pretty senseless. So there. Here’s to a kuwentong walang kuwenta, salaysay na walang saysay, and a babalang puro kabalbalan.

Physics Marathon

Just finished a 5-hour marathon physics exam.

I'm not exaggarating when I tell you now that I puked out of sheer mental exhaustion (well, I also didn't sleep last night).

Physicists must be crazy. After taking the exam, I talked with some of my physics major friends and asked them why they're hanging out at Faura Hall. Apparently, they're preparing for their Classical Mechanics finals orals exams. The no. of thesis statements? 80. They have to prove the statements mathematically, and explain it very well, all in under 10 minutes.

I was informed that the survival rate of that course is very low. Last year only 5 students out of 16 passed it. To think that some of the smartest kids in the country take up physics at the Ateneo.

I bow down everytime I meet a physics major. They probably have the hardest curriculum in our school. To think that we chem majors lord it over a section of the school. We just laugh when people say that Management-Honors is the toughest course in the Ateneo (How you measure the toughness of a course when you've never even in that course is beyond me, I just have to say we have a tougher course hehehehe).

This Earth of Mankind

“What’s this? You’re looking at a Friendster profile of someone you met for the first time yesterday, someone you hardly know?”

“Well, technically, I’ve acquainted myself with her for quite some time now. I called her up the other day, we’ve met yesterday, and today, I’m knowing stuff about her that’s making me realize that we have a lot more in common than I originally thought we had.”

“Sure. Keeping her resume, contacting her for an interview, peeping on her Friendster account and seeing that you have the same favorite book count as such.”

“If you like to put it that way.”

“I thought you hated your job?”

“Yes, before.

Imagine this, you resent having to wake up at an ungodly hour, and you go to work at least thirty minutes late everyday. You have that heavy feeling inside you, as if there was a looming cloud over you, everywhere you go.

And then, one day, you got to interview someone out of the ordinary, someone who made the pitch of your voice higher than usual; An obvious sign of anxiety.

You tell her that your interview with her will be good for fifteen to twenty minutes. And yet, it took over an hour. She got to talk about the things that she liked, and you listened intently.

She enjoyed the interview, so did you.

She asked for your contact details, and left you with a good feeling inside. A feeling like there was something in what you’re doing that gave meaning, that gave you a sense of appreciation for your crap-ass job.

And, at that moment, you smiled.”

“I see. I know that feeling exactly.”

“I’m sure you do.”

“Go on.”

“As I was returning to the office a while ago, I got a call, saying that I should place her for a position that’s not fit for her. I naturally asserted my principle. I disagreed.

Disagreeing proved futile. Suddenly, she became a victim of injustice; she was stripped of an opportunity that she fought for, fair and square.

I was crushed, literally.

My eyes watered up. My tone got throaty. My nose got itchy.

I couldn’t look at her. I couldn’t tell her straight faced, bluntly, that she won’t get the position.”

“What a terrible situation for her.”

“I sympathize with her.”

“Because?”

“Because I shared the exact same experience as with her before, three months earlier, that I was deprived of the exact same position, and was considered for the exact other position, a position that’s also not fit for me.

She doesn’t deserve this. She doesn’t deserve not entertaining her other pending applications for the position, only to know that she got screwed. She doesn’t deserve the frustration.

Of all the feelings and exact similar situations that I had to share with someone else in this earth of mankind, why does it have to be this?

I really feel bad for her. I really do.”

“You had to share the same despair.”

“..Go away, conscience.”

Ａｎｎａｂｅｌｌｅ Ｃｈｏｎｇ Ｔｒｉｂｕｔｅ

I was surfing the internet the other day for good documentaries to download when I saw an article mentioning praises by Robert Redford on an indie documentary called "Sex:The Annabelle Chong Story". So I looked it up who Annabelle Chong was and apparently she was the one who started the whole big gangbang thing by having sex with 251 men (Actually there were 70 men in the shoot but they keep coming back, so one ejaculation equals one man in their tally).

Naturally I have to download the sex video out of curiosity. It was my first time to ever watch a porn. I wasn't totally titillated at all. Its all about curiosity. CURIOSITY. Curiosity...about the whole gangbang record thing...its not about the sex...its about the record...I was curious about the record...got that? I repeat, its not about the sex...it was never about the sex.

Anyway, I first thought that the girl was hot, and with an even hotter body. While watching, some random ideas came to mind such as "Why not make the Philippine's biggest gangbang?", while other musings were more on the philosophical bent but this is not the post to discuss this.

After half an hour, you get the feeling of pity for the girl but then again, how can you feel pity when she keeps on enjoying the whole thing? Whats more pitiful is the choice of men that had to fuck her (Read : Middle-aged dorks wearing glasses with a 45 inch waistline and bushy chest). But she kept on thanking each and every one of those jackasses and telling them to "Keep on coming and fuck me hard, I can do a hundred more!". Boy, is she an iron woman or what? After the 45th minute, I didn't feel pity any more. I felt like shouting "Come on girl ! Go for the record ! You can do it ! We're all right behind you!"

Ahhh, the highlight of the film was the last segment, when the legend himself, the #1 porn star of all time (according to internet sources) Ron Jeremy was invited to be the last man to fuck her. At this point, she had been fucked for over 10 hours and 250 times. Her ....feminity was so sore that she kept on screaming and grimacing but it was obvious that she did a little acting and faked her way into enjoying it.

Blah blah blah..tinatamad na akong ayusing ang post na ito. di naman siguro censored ang blog na ito noh? post ako ng vidcaps mamaya hehehehehehe

Once in a Milenyo

Good evening boys and girls.

With nothing better to do on a quiet Sunday evening, I thought I’d rattle up my old noggin and try to write something for a change, something that I should’ve written weeks ago.

Sit back boys and girls, I’ll tell you about how I went through the day when Typhoon Milenyo struck.

-----

Oh, how could I forget that faithful day, when my full figured boss called me up, and told me that I should deliver the daily time records of my fifty something associates to the main office before I get to work. The things I do just to save that sorry company.

Mind you, liaisons was never part of my job description, nevertheless, this fool, along with Mr. taxi cab driver, braved the early floods at around 7am and went to the main office like a good sheep, not minding the mass panic of anticipation over the super typhoon.

Little Michael then arrived at Paco around 730, and having spent a good 200 bucks for transportation (whom he didn’t reimburse), was naturally pissed. Thoughts about him making a statement against that crap of a third party agency ran through his mind then as he wandered about the office, looking for people to share his angst to.

The office was deserted. One of the bosses there whom he looked up to had a short talk with him. She mentioned that all employees should vacate the site by noon. He obliged.

Save for one faggy spineless associate, whom he made a fool of, that errand wasn’t that hard.

-----

Fast forward to noon. Another slutty former co-worker, all the way from Makati, foolishly went to the site just to meet her friends, and especially to a particular friend of hers whom she did nothing but to ogle about. Now, if only I had the stomach to respect that former co-worker, this story would be sunnier.

Ehem, now, this is where everything gets exciting (and foolish)…

Initial plans to go to some dingy karaoke bar along St. Scholastica’s College were scrapped to a more foolish idea.

WHY NOT GO TO MALL OF ASIA AMIDST AN APPROACHING SUPER TYPHOON?

It seemed like a fun and daring idea then; oh boy, were we wrong.

-----

I never understood God that day, why He spared ten lives that faithful day, when every sane person would scurry home, wet themselves silly and pray their rosaries.

In that short span of time (around 2-3 hours to be exact), where Milenyo passed, Mall of Asia was reduced to piles of rubbles, literally. Walls were swept by furious winds, exposing the Styrofoam coating, and ill-constructed ceilings.

Blackout. Dripping ceilings. Broken windows. Trees uprooted. The “S” of the “SM” signage wasn’t even spared. It was a sight comparable to a scene in the day after tomorrow.

It was a shame. Well, for the management at MOA, that is.

Everyone finally saw how ill constructed that mall was.

The super typhoon was so bad that you couldn’t make a cellphone call or send a text message for two days. Mall of Asia was so devastated that Starbucks can’t serve drinks made from crushed ice.

I’ll post the pictures as soon as I can get my Bluetooth dongle to work on my laptop.

-----

That night, Manila literally went to the dark ages. I had to brave the pitch-black Taft Avenue, and fight with other pissed people, drenched in rain, just to get a decent ride home.

Little Michael went to bed that night with a heart that thumped so hard, you could swear that Edgar Allan Poe got his Tell-Tale Heart story from him.

-----

If a super typhoon with winds that could literally rip walls off, uproot trees, crush ceilings and expose its wirings comes, STAY HOME.

jubilee xmas party

Oh no! Nobody's doing anything about it!

If nobody acts by next month, or even early december, this annual event aimed in raising funds fo r poor orphans would be in jeopardy! The beneficiaries this year are those poor little girls along Q. Ave. nyahahahahahaa

Might I suggest the 13 does its act now? Who will do what? This needs a ym conference.

Why God never received a PhD

1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was in Hebrew.
3. It had no references.
4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
5. Some even doubt he wrote it by himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects.
10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
13. Some say he had his son teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.
17. No record of working well with colleagues.

As if there was any doubt...

You Are Dr. Pepper

You're very unique and funky, yet you still have a bit of traditionalism to you. People who like you think they have great taste... and they usually do. Your best soda match: Root Beer Stay away from: 7 Up

What Kind of Soda Are You?

God's Team

God's team lost last night, 76-74 in the uaap equivalent of Jubilee High School basketball team beating the 1992 U.S. Dream Team.

It rained afterwards.

Obviously God wasn't pleased.

Countering C:\Windows

I bet you're now telling me "Geez, thanks for revealing every man's secret".

Never fear my comrade! I've got the solution to solve your woes.

You upload it into one of those uploading websites like rapidshare!

That's right. You can upload it into a website and retrieve the file anytime.

Not only will your computer be squeaky clean of any smut, you can also download the file anywhere, even in your office!

Imagine : Your office has this software installed that block you from looking at any porn sites. What do you do? You download the file from rapidshare and be the envy of every man in the office (as well as the chagrin of your lady supervisor)!

So what do you do now? Upload your files now!

C:\Windows

Your friend referred you to this website showing very revealing pictures of this celebrity you've been ogling at for years. But you just can't put it as your wallpaper on your desktop since mom might see it, or little sis might squeal on mom. So what do you do? You save it in C:\Windows.

How about this : You just downloaded the latest sex scandal and it involves your friend and you just have to see it. Where do you save it? C:\Windows.

It seems that C:\Windows has been the universal location to save your dirty stuff. Not in that silly My documents folder, or even the My pictures and My videos that nobody really uses. Its in C:\Windows. Why? Nobody else, especially the girls, would bother to look into C:\Windows. They would most likely look into the folder labelled with your name.

If you're a girlfriend/mom/sister who's reading this and suspects his man has hidden porn stashed in his computer be sure to check out C:\Windows first. Because I bet my bottom dollar 90% of the time its there.

Beach on my mind

Okay, I've waited as long as I can to bring this up. I told myself "don't talk about it yet, because it's too early and whatever and to wait until maybe October to bring it up". Well, it's October 1!

Here I go.

Beach.

That's it. That's my pitch.

I wanna go to a freakin' beach. Bohol. Bora. At this point, I'll even take Galera.

So yeah, maybe sometime inbetween Xmas and New Year? cause I've only got 2 weeks so there's not a lot of time to choose from.

So I've posted this to hear your opinion. What do y'all think?

Lost in translation

Susan, Aslan, and Lucy, talking about the witch and... soybean cakes?!
Tee-hee. Pretty fucked up subtitling.
Bootleg DVD, probably made in Malaysia.

Developing El Nino

For a moment, he was mesmerized, watching the prickly raindrops collecting on the window panes.

He was lost in his thoughts. Thoughts about how his friend was doing, why he couldn’t make the conscious effort of letting her know that he wants to treat her because he lost their bet, and that letting her know also that she should treat him back because she cheated in that same bet.

This never made sense, but hey, everything doesn’t have to.

He then shifted his blank stare from the infinite prism beads to the radiantly warm headlamp, to the two lonely orange chairs below it, and to the lone coffee table that kept them company. It was a charming sight indeed.

The chair seemed to beckon him, to sit on it, like he did before when he had the interview with her friend’s friend (it was a mock interview, you see. She was supposed to be hired in the first place).

It never made sense, but hey, everything doesn’t have to.

Again, he was lost in his thoughts.

The rain. The bet. The Interview.
Hesitation; it all made sense.

And finally, for a moment, he smiled.
He finally understood bliss.

Remembering Idealism

So okay, I had a free day today and spent it watching The West Wing. Since I can only repeatedly watch the pilot episode of Studio 60 on The Sunset Strip for so long, I figure why not check out my all time favorite show again. The difference between The West Wing from my other favorites such as Buffy, Veronica Mars, 24 or Grey's Anatomy is that no matter how many times you watch it, it never gets old.

It goes back to the creator Aaron Sorkin, the man also responsible for Studio 60. What makes the West Wing great is the idealism behind it. It takes me back from when I graduated high school and felt that I was going to change the world. Frankly, there's still time. Anyway, if you've never seen it, it's a brilliant and well-written show about the inner workings of the White House. The cast is brilliant from Martin Sheen as the President to his staff of intelligent and well-intentioned individuals. The first season, by far the strongest season, is just filled with the kind of idealism that makes one go "hmmm, I wish the world is like that." Sometimes, it's easy to see that the world and our leaders will never be that idealistic. However, this is television, the box that treads reality and the fantastic, and Sorkin is brilliant at treading that line.

As of now, Sorkin has his idealistic sights on the television industry. Studio 60 on The Sunset Strip is about the inner workings of a live sketch show ala Saturday Night Live. It's definitely worth checking out. Also, if you can avail yourself of the first four seasons of The West Wing, I would definitely recommend it. Shows like these are what television should be all about: intelligent, thought-provoking and risk-taking.

That's it for me. Ciao.

Eternity: Chapter Six

(Author's note: This is the sixth of a seven part story featured in my blog. To make it short, basically in the first five parts are different time periods and events in history, i.e. civil war, Spanish colony of Manila, etc. In these events were lovers or they were meant to be lovers but were always cut short by different tragedies and circumstances.)

---------------------------------------------------

June 12, 2005, just past midnight.

The tides roar against the beach clawing into the sand before being pushed back to the sea. On the shore, the sounds of festive music and festive people are prominent amongst the dead of night. A boy and a girl walk by, getting their feet wet by the warm water. It's the same old story: Boy likes girl and girl likes boy. The current setting should be the perfect time for boy to reach out for the girl's hand. However, we all know nothing's that easy.

Finally, they stop and sit by the white sands and stare out into the horizon. The boy talks as the girl looks on.

"You know, I wonder about fate. Do you think it's real?"

[I don't know. Maybe], says the girl.

"For some reason, I've been thinking about it lately. Jim told me about this play he saw before in New York called Aida. Aida was this Nubian princess who's land was captured by Egypt and she became a slave for the conquering general named Radames. Now Radames was engaged to be married to the Egyptian princess, who he didn't love, but was arranged by his father as a political move for Radames to be king. Are you still with me?"

[Yeah, go on.]

"Okay. So Radames is this adventurous general and Aida is this strong-willed slave, so naturally they fall in love. Matters are complicated when Aida's father, the Nubian King, was captured and jailed. Aida and the other slaves now plan to release the Nubian King and escape. Radames, who knows nothing about the planned escape, is currently at a crossroad of his own. He could either marry the Egyptian princess and be king or drop the engagement altogether. Aida begs Radames to marry the princess and be king so he can have an influence on the future fate of Nubia, Aida also secretly plans to use the celebration to break his father out and escape."

[So what happened?]

"While Egypt is celebrating, Radames decides to sneak out to see Aida. He then discovers the prisoners as they try to escape. Seeing Aida with them, he aids them as Egypt guards are about to close in on them. Aida now, seeing that Radames is about to be arrested, decides to stay and share the same fate as Radames. In the end, they are buried alive together. In the epilogue, the setting is in a modern museum showcasing Ancient Egyptian artifacts. In the showcase, a male visitor bumps into a female visitor and they stare into each other's eyes and the lights fade out as if to symbolize that Aida and Radames' love still lives on."

[Well, I don't believe in reincarnation, if that's what you're saying.]

"No, it's not that. I don't think they're saying that those modern visitors are Aida and Radames reincarnated. I think they're saying that we all have soulmates and that because it is so distinct, it draws parallels through time. For example, I have these batchmates that have been together since high school. Even today, they're still going strong and are still so in love with each other. Now let's say they end up together until they die of old age, we can make a decent case that they could be soulmates. Now what I'm saying is that their love is distinct that they were probably instances in all the Earth's history that were similar and rivaled their love."

[I don't think I've ever heard you talk that much about something like that.]

"Well, like I said, I've been thinking about it a lot lately."

[Was all that to try and tell me something?]

"Uh.. What do you mean?"

[What I mean is did you talk about all that just to tell me that you like me?]

"I don't know. Maybe."

[Because it's not like this is news. What I'm curious of though, is what makes you think we measure up to Aida and Radames or to your batchmates from high school? What I'm saying is what makes you think that applies to us?]

"I don't know. Like I said, it's just something I've been thinking a lot about."

[Okay, so in that sense, do you think we're like that?]

"Are you saying it's going to end up as tragic?"

[It was your story.]

"Well, who knows? Maybe it ends here. Maybe all throughout time, there were assorted guys and girls who were perfect for each other, but just couldn't end up together because of society or war or even death. Maybe that's us, flirting with the idea but never really ending up anywhere."

[Maybe.]

[Come on, we have to go back. Glenn's about to have some shots for his birthday.]

Toilet Transactions

My tummy revolted against me today while I was rushing to finish my homeworks in school. 5 years of studying here has helped me gain a knowledge of where the cleanest and best-maintained comfort rooms are. So I instinctively ran there (not minding the queer gaze of the people I passed by) but forgot to buy the all-mighty tissue paper.

So I dropped what needs to be dropped and stood on the cubicle for about 10 minutes when my little savior, in the form of the resident custodian engineer, entered the cr. I asked him if he could do me a little favor and buy a roll of tissue paper for me at the cafeteria. He initially refused but a stroke of ingenuity befell on him and asked "Magkano ba tissue paper niyo sa caf? " I answered "mga bente po". He quickly replied probably with a wide grin "Bigyan kita kwarenta kada isa". I had no choice but to give on.

@$@^@! got screwed by a janitor

Thank goodness for old videos

- I just finished watching an old episode of Boy Meets World, the one where they graduate. And yes, I got all senti watching Cory, Shawn, Topenga and Mr. Feeny. Sigh....

- If you haven't or aren't watching the Colbert Report (sister show of The Daily Show) then y'all need to start. It is soooo insane, I can't get enough of it. Last night's episode had the ambassador of Hungary, where Colbert is trying to get a bridge named after him and ESPN's Bill Simmons (who stunk as a guest, actually.. sadly, no chemistry with Colbert). Anyway, download it off the net if you aren't getting it there.

- Oh, I just saw Good Night and Good Luck the other day and wow! it is really good. I didn't know George Clooney could direct that well.

Anyway, I'm in a watch old videos mood the last few days, so here are some I've seen so far:

Two episodes of the X-files Season 1 - Fun to watch, Scully is still hot and it reminded me why I was so in love with the show then.

Batman The Animated Series - I didn't appreciate how dark this cartoon was then. Now that I have a different perspective on it, I have to say that wow, it is dark.

Spider-man And His Amazing Friends Season 2 - For some reason, season 2 only has 4 episodes and most just tells their origin (oddly, Firestar's origin was that she came from the original X-men). Oh and it is downright awesome hearing 70s Wolverine's weird pseudo Aussie accent (maybe that's how they cast Hugh Jackman three decades later).

Whose Line is it Anyway - I miss Ryan and Colin. I hope they're still working.

Top 100 Stand-ups of All Time - this is a Comedy Central special where they count down the best stand-up comedians of all time. For the show, they had a roundtable of current comedians giving commentary on the list. Pretty cool. Oh and if you're curious, here are the notables: 1. Richard Pryor 2. George Carlin 3. Lenny Bruce 4. Woody Allen 5. Chris Rock

South Park - I only saw one old episode of late, the one where they get ninja weapons and Kenny throws the throwing star into Butters' eye. While I've finally seen Family Guy and it is indeed really good, there is still no overtaking South Park especially when they're in a Satirical mood.

Geri Halliwell, It's Raining Men - I remember shopping in London with Jeco when I first saw this video. I was in Top Shop and I remember all the men in the store literally frozen as we were all transfixed by Geri Halliwell's new body. It was just jaw-dropping, need to readjust the pants kind of moment. Years later, it still rocks.

-----------------------------------------

Anyway, I'm off to watch some more.

Ciao for now.

Newsflash !

Update on the current situation in our motherland.

CAMP CRAME Kakaibang sex trip ang ginawa ng isang 18-anyos na kolehiyala sa kanyang ari na naimpeksyon dahil sa celfon kaya napaaga ang pagsalubong ni kamatayan may tatlong araw na ang nakalipas sa Koronadal City, South Cotabato, ayon sa ulat kahapon.

Dahil sa kahihiyang sasapitin ng pamilya kahit binawian ng buhay ay itinago sa pangalang Dory, ang biktimang estudyante mula sa kilalang kolehiyo sa nabanggit na lungsod.

Batay sa ulat ng Koronadal City PNP, isinalaysay ng pamilya ng biktima na nag-masturbate ang biktima gamit ang kanyang celfon Nokia 8210.

Gayunman, napalalim ang pasok ng nasabing celfon sa loob ng ari ng dalaga kaya nabigo siyang mahugot pa ito.

Napag-alamang nakiusap ang pamilya ng biktima sa pulisya na huwag na itong pangalanan dahil sa matinding kahihiyan na maaaring idulot sa kanilang lugar.

Matapos ang tatlong araw na pananahimik habang nasa loob ng ari ang celfon ay napilitan na ang biktima na magtapat sa kanyang mga kasambahay kaya isinugod ito sa pinakamalapit na ospital.

Ayon sa ulat, nahirapang umihi ang biktima matapos na mamaga ang matris nito sanhi ng matinding impeksyon dahil sa celfon.

Dahil sa kumalat na ang impeksyon sa buong matris ay nabigong maagapan ang pagsalubong ni kamatayan sa biktima.

Posibleng nag-rapture na ang matris ng biktima matapos maimpeksyon dahil sa celfon na tatlong araw na sa loob ng ari, ayon pa sa ulat ng pulisya.

Four

Thoughts of 17-year old Jim on the JCA Gaduation Ceremony, March of 2002:

- Wow, I can't believe I'm finally graduating.

- La Salle is going to rock!

- College chicks, woohoo!

- Hey, is that Janny's mom?

- Hey, it's Eugene. I hear he's going to Ateneo. Ten bucks say I never see him again.

- Hey it's Cathy. I really should keep in touch with her after high school. Too bad she doesn't drink.

- I'm not going to miss this campus cause I'll drop by every other week. After all, one can't forget where one came from.

- Did my family just leave mid-way?

- I wrote such a good graduation song. Four years from now, I'll look back on it and say, wow!

- I really need to put on some weight, I'm too thin (Sigh, I am such a fat-ass now that even joking about it is making me sad nyahahaha).

- I'm so excited about the yearbook. I'm so excited I'll probably kill myself if I don't see it half a year from now... a year?... two years?... three? four?.. (hey, it came out!)

- Hey it's Odell and Rae, what a lovely couple! I bet they get married first, after all, they do have a star named after them!

- Hey, is that Janny's mom?

- "Hey Alden, who are those three guys that always hang out together? What? Pierce? Ohhh Pierre. What an odd name. What are the other two? Glenn and Wilson? Oh, never mind, I'll probably never see them again anyway."

- Hey, it's Johann Ortega! We're taking the same course in La Salle. I bet we're going to be really close friends now.

- La Salle rocks! They are the champions, after all. They are sooo going to win the title next year! And even if they don't, with their high-caliber recruitment program, they'll be in the top for a long long time! Yessiree!

- Hey, it's Sherri! You know who she's be great with, like in a perfect world? Lester Pascual! Ahhh, my overactive imagination running wild again.

- I wonder what Pachi is going to be like in 4 years? (Oh, I'm still curious about this, by the way)

- Hey, it's Jeco receiving the Christian Leadership Award (hee, I can't even type it with a straight face). The award couldn't have gone to a more deserving guy! A future pillar of the Christian community, I tell you.

- Hey, it's Stephen... and uh... er..... Yeah, I got nothing. Seriously, can anyone think of the difference between high school Stip and college Stip? Yeah, me neither.

- Wow, great graduation. I am so ready for the next step! Four years from now, I'll probably be all successful, but even I'm not, at least I don't end up in some school like Ateneo or in some obscure country like New Zealand or whatever. Yup, I have it all planned out!

- Hey, is that Janny's mom?

Phonethics.

!@$#.

Let’s talk about cellphone pet peeves for a second.

Do realize that cellphones, much like the net, are to be used responsibly. Here are my top ten cellphone pet peeves. Break ‘em, and I’ll do the same to your phones.
Oh yeah, have a nice day. =)

10. Annoying ring / message tones.
9. Getting forwarded messages from acquaintances with questionable motives.
8. Text spam.
7. Text messages in all-caps.
6. Monosyllabic text replies.
5. Ringing phones in inappropriate places (i.e. in the middle of a mass, meeting, or film, etc.)
4. Answering calls while in the middle of a mass, meeting, or film, etc.
3. Getting forwarded messages from opposite-gender acquaintances with questionable motives. (Yeegh.)
2. Undecipherable shorthanded text messages. (e.g. “wru n? m hir @ g4. c u n 2-10”)
1. Not replying when you’re expecting one (courtesy replies).

Live from Auckland, New Zealand

Okay, I just finished my week long Auckland trip. I'm about to head to Australia for the tourneys, so it's still poker non-stop.

As for how I did, it's been miserable to say the least. I've played for four nights now and all I have to show for myself is even. That really sucks.

On Monday, I dropped 4 buy-ins. I was aggressive early and trapped someone when I had QQ and he had a pair of tens and a flush draw but he sucked out on the river. And then my KK got cracked with a straight. And then I got short-stacked and failed to improve on my flush and straight draw. And finally, my AK ran into AA. Not how I wanted to start my trip.

I won it back on Tuesday, but then got a killer night again on Wednesday. I dropped 3 buy-ins that time. I check-raised all-in with AJ on an Ace high flop and got called by A4 and got runner runnered straight. I then flopped the Jack high flush and someone else flopped the nut flush. And finally, I pushed with 88 and got called with K4 and got a King on the river. Again, I won it back on Thursday, but that's pretty much how my week was going.

Hmmm what else... oh, Josh Hartnett and Melissa George is shooting a movie in Auckland and I played blackjack (I was killing time) with them.

So anyways, it's off to Australia now. I got a big tourney on Saturday, so wish me luck on that. I got Izzy to meet me in Aussie, so that's gonna be cool.

If you also checked out my multiply account, I posted that I just bought myself a projector. I don't have anywhere to put it in my place in Wellington, so it's going back to Manila with me.

Well, that's it. Ciao for now.

Thoughts While Studying for my Midterms

Probably the only thing worse than dying as a virgin for straight people like me is graduating college as a virgin. One semester to go before I bid farewell to the school that has given me so much (but only after I paid them much more) and little Wilson still haven't seen any action. Should I just go randomly to any woman and ask her "Hi, are you horny right now?" just for the sake of hitting the one-in-a-million chance that the random girl will say yes (I might be kicked out of school before next semester if I do this). I don't like the idea of paying for it plus the chance of little Wilson bleeding uncontrollably after traveling through the cave of delights increases exponentialy if I did it with Santa's little angels. What else what else what else...I don't have time to court somebody, especially if the end purpose is for the one-eyed snake to hit its target. What I need is a fubu, especially a schoolmate fubu now...

Well that's basically it...

Penny Hardaway

It's almost a decade now, so I think I can talk about this now.

I don't have any role models.

I think part of that is because of my arrogance (yeah, it's there if you haven't seen it) and my complex, but when I was 11 years old, I did have one.

His name was Anfernee "Penny" Hardaway.

I can't actually pinpoint when I started rooting for him and the Magic, just like I can't pinpoint when I figured out that wrestling was fake (Because I remember cheering for The Rock against HHH, so that's pretty much after Austin's time where fake was already accepted).

Anyway, you all know about Penny Hardaway so I'm not gonna bother telling his career. You know the highlights, 3rd pick overall, an NBA finals appearance, a lot of all-star starts, all NBA first team, USA team in 96 and many more I'm sure. If you're not a basketball junkie, you've still probably have seen his ads with Nike (I soooo miss Lil' Penny).

Anyway, he meant a lot to me growing up. Everything I did and bought was Penny: Trading cards, jerseys, photo plaques, shoes, caps, etc. I even tried moving the same way he did when I played. By 1995, I was in New York when Shaq and Penny went deep in the playoffs. I was glued to every game and he was larger than life by then. My friends from NY were Michael Jordan fans, so when he returned and faced Orlando in the Semis, it was all out war on the living room. It was sooo enjoyable watching the final play where my man Penny reached in and knocked the ball loose from Jordan allowing Anderson to steal and setting up the fast break on the other end. I didn't even care too much that they lost in the Finals. The future was bright and Penny was leading the way.

Then Michael Jordan happened. Of course I had no comprehension then how great Michael Jordan actually was. Suffice to say, Orlando never stood a chance only I didn't know it. So the Magic lost in the East Finals. Shaq went Hollywood and it was Penny's team.

I was in New York again to watch Penny light up Miami in the playoffs for consecutive 40 plus games. Back then, it was a rare feat to do that so I was pretty pumped up. They lost the decision to Miami, but everything was still good with Penny. He was a top 5 player, incredibly marketable and a sure-fire courtside countdown cameo every week.

And then, it went downhill. He was injured. Then the lockout happened. Then he was injured again. Somehow, something in me was crushed, like I was let down by my hero. I stopped watching the NBA with the same passion from 2000 to 2002, reserving my viewing to only the playoffs and big games. Penny was never the same and so was I. Given that I idolized him as I was in puberty, his decline was probably one of the first major disappointments of my adolescence.

Eventually, Jason Kidd and the Nets got me back. And then, Steve Nash and the Suns. And now, I am glad to be witness to a once in a generation player in Lebron James. And while they have all surpassed Penny, nothing will take the place of the Orlando Magic who took my breath away.

And if you think I've stopped remembering, I'd point out that my shades are Oakley Penny. Not related, but still, you gotta love the name.

Comic talk

Okay, I just finished the pre-annihilation mini-series and I'm very psyched about it. So I figured, might as well get my geek on and talk comics for a bit.

Why? Because this is a great time to be reading comics, Marvel in particular.

Of course, DC is also doing great with the Infinite Crisis thing last year and the weekly 52 thing this year, but DC sucks so we're talking Marvel here.

Here's what's going on with Marvel.

Civil War

The New Warriors, a reality show supergroup, got involved with in a battle with super villians who were out of their league and an explosion ended up killing hundreds of children in a school nearby. The government then proposed a bill that would force super heroes to reveal their identities to the public and become a special police for the government. When the bill became law, the hero community was split into the middle creating factions that either supported or was against the law. Thus, Civil War.

Written by Mark Millar (the Wolverine mini-series with the mind control, the Ultimates, the Ultimates 2), Civil War is basically hero vs hero. The anti-registration or rebellion consists of Captain America, Luke Cage, Daredevil, the Young Avengers, the X-men, Hawkeye and more. The pro-registration side is made up of Iron Man, the Wasp, Giant man, the Thunderbolts, the Fantastic Four and Spider-man. In what might be the biggest event in Spider-man history, Peter Parker reveals his true identity in a press conference (spilled into the pages of Amazing Spider-man written by Straczynski, author of Rising Stars).

And so, it is hero vs hero with the tagline "whose side are you on?"

Annihilation

An old FF villian called Annihilus has created a huge army and has sought out to destroy the whole universe in what's called the Annihilation Wave. In the battle, every cosmic being you've seen in Marvel Comics gets involved and the series hasn't even gone half way. We've already seen Galactus, all of his heralds, the Silver Surfer, Nova, Quasar, Thanos, Drax the Destroyer, the Beyonder, Death, the Super Skrull and more. Super beings get killed quick in this mega war of epic proportions hee, I love saying that. It is very epic though and while reading it, it really gives you a "this event is huge" feeling.

So that's the big events now at Marvel. Also to come, a series called The Eternals which is going to be written by Neil Gaiman, author of The Sandman. So that's gonna rock too.

And that's the end of my comic rant. It's like a monthly period, one has to go through it. Anything more than that, and it's more than slightly weird. Heh.

Ciao.

Look What I Found!

Yahweh is not only the God of the Jews, Christians and some other denomination...

But also a Marvel Comics Character!

In fact, in the Marvel Series storyline, Yahweh is in hell !

Taken from http://www.knightmare6.com/faq/cosmic_entities_marvel/yahweh.html

Who is Yahweh?
The entity known as Yahweh was the architect for the current universe. An independent contractor, who was hired to design the framework of the universe after the Big Bang. Yahweh is mostly known as the Judeo-Christian-Islamic God of Earth, sometimes called YHWH, Yahweh, Allah and God.
Why is Yahweh in Hell?
Yahweh spends time in Hell, as a form of penance. It feels guilty for allowing Adolf Hitler's rise to power during the Twentieth Century. Spending time in Hell, Yahweh has split himself into the Holy Trinity - the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.



---> Notice from the image above Jesus, God the Father, and the Holy Spirit (in the form of a poltergeist) , all of them apparently alcoholics...They must have pictured Jesus to be a sadist...still wearing the crown of thorns ...

Reading Jim's Previous Post

About to whom much is given etc. reminded me of Reinabelle Reyes (who if my memory serves me right, was coincidentially Jim's first crush) getting admitted to...hmm...the graduate program in Astrophysics at...

PRINCETON UNIVERSITY

(I read it on a paper posted on a board at Faura Hall, which is Ateneo's pure and applied physics building)

I guess Jubilee really was too easy for her hehehhehee

To whom much is given...

I played the piano today!

That's pretty much it. Well, not really.

It was more of I played the piano today and wow, did I suck at it. It's incredible how much skills deteriorate when we don't use them. I played basketball last week and I barely did anything and I sucked and the next day, my whole body ached. Anyway, back to the piano story.

On Billy's last night here (yes, I have the house to myself, more on that next time), I met one of his friends who happened to be a music student. Strangely, she was the first artistic/musically inclined person I've met here in my 3 years in New Zealand, not counting Devin's ex who was a dancer (ballroom, the other kind). Especially strange considering half of my friends back in Manila are artists (or at least they think they are). So it was very surreal talking music technically again to someone. Anyway, long story short, I got her to book a room in her school so I can tinker with a piano.

So when we got there, it was pretty obvious that I didn't have it anymore. I played some broadway songs for her and it was just terrible, especially embarrassing because Billy told her I had perfect pitch (which is like telling someone I had an IQ of 200). Actually, I have relative pitch (a slightly more common gift, like saying I'm gifted instead of I'm a genius) but because of a lack of practice, I barely showed it today. She was the better pianist, especially since she's been playing a lot and she's a music student obviously, but I think I had the better ear. Anyway, it just goes to show how much I took my skills for granted.

Back to basketball, in high school, I played summer ball for 5 hours everyday. When there were classes, after the bell rang, we all ran to the courts so that we'd get first dibs or at least get a quick game in before the varsity took over the courts (damn varsity, oh wait I was one too). In college, I could run with the best of them and took over the game everytime. And then it got to a point where I paced myself so I can take over at the end. And then, I stopped taking over. And then, Wilson started posting me up and getting away with it (which I should have taken as a sign). And then I couldnt run with everyone anymore. And now, I can't run without getting dizzy and aching the next day.

I guess the lesson here is that we all have skills that were inborn (music and performing for me) and some that we worked for (basketball and knowing when Jeco is bluffing, although that isnt hard... oooh SNAP!) and much is expected to whom much is given. The comic book version for that is with great power comes great responsibility. So in that note, I'm going to shape up my powers, I plan to start playing ball again maybe once or twice a week and definitely take a crack at the piano once a week. And maybe one day, it'll all come back to me (especially abs, sigh I remember when I had abs).

Another Top Ten List (Wholesome version)

The top ten gastronomical delights that my crude taste craves for (Which I can think of at this ungodly hour)

1. Peking duck

2. Pansit Palabok

3. Country Chicken

4. Iyong maalat na crab sa Emerald

5. Crispy Pata

6. Pizza Pie

7. Jollibee spaghetti

8. Bulalo

9. Steamed Bangus na luto ng mom ko

10. Lucky Me Pancit Canton

Feel free to make your list :D

The Yearbook Post

I'm sure we're thinking the same thing
























Spot the difference

In Defense of Reverend Sia

I heard the best church sermon ever when Boksu was the speaker. It happened during first year high school when he was telling us that he once met a pretty hot and cool chick at bible camp way back when he was still in his teens (isn't it funny how he sets his sexual fantasies on a bible camp?) but he had to continue his story by sourgraping and telling the whole congregation "Kaso si Mrs. Sia ang binigay sa akin ni Lord".

Bitterness is a scary thing to hold

Jim's post about marriage reminded me about one of the promises i made to myself and to Aya way back. I told myself that before i start a family, before i get married or go into any of those things, i have to find God once again. Not religion but faith, I want my kids to grow up believing in something and i wouldn't want some idiot Pastor with an immature penchant for Dragon Ball Z directing my kids' faith. I'd much rather my children hear about faith and see a good example of what a human being should be (although the two are completely unrelated) from their own father. And hence begins another inquisition on myself, considering that I was the first person awarded the "Christian Leadership Award" in beloved Jubilee, any responsible human being that sees me right now should ask: What the fuck happened?

To answer that I'd have to study why I harbored such ill feelings ever since i graduated high school. My distaste isn't indigenous to religion alone, besides being anti-religion, i'm also very much a bigot, albeit in painful humor, against pretty much all existing races but most fervent against the Chinese. As unnecessary and stupid as it sounds, I am supposed to be those two things, A Chirstian and of Chinese heritage. So why do I hate it so much?

And here comes the main topic of this post, I'm looking for feedback (especially mula sa mga psych majors diyan kung may relevance ba yung quasi-freudian pschoanalysis ko). Instead of using the endless arguments against Christians or the Chinese to justify my anger i'm doing the mature thing and analyzing myself.

I can't think of a more relevant factor in directing my life than my mother. Congruently, i can't think of a person i am more bitter against than my mother. She exemplifies the characteristics i hate: the self-righteousness, naivete, and complete idiocy of Christians, and the selfishness, and arrogance of the Chinese. It would be much simpler to stop the post here and leave the explanation of my flaws as psychological defiance against parental acts. But that would mean that i hate Christianity and the Chinese because of my mother being so misdirected into the stereotypes of both. But it's just not the case. I can specifically determine a point in my life when I started becoming bitter against my mother. Alongside my conscious resignation into coming here to Canada out of respect for my parents' wishes came the bitterness against them redirecting (and dare i say misdirecting) my life for the next couple of years.

My prejudice and anger came as a by-product of my distaste for my mother, it became much more convenient for myself to paint stereotypes into her character and be angry at her as a reaction against her decision to uproot the whole family off to Canada. My proclivity in criticizing nearly everything in the world and add sarcasm to it comes from my defensive reaction to my letting go of nearly everything i held dear in submission (gah) to my mother's wishes. So in a general sense, my dominant characteristics come from one distinct feeling, bitterness, Filial Piety sucks.

It's gone progressively worse ever since this Canada fiasco triggered it. I began associating my anger to the things that my mom held dear: her church and her blood. Instead of developing my own faith, i grew distant and scornful towards Christianity and all religions for that matter. Instead of being respectful towards my Chinese bloodline and history, I lambaste and criticize the Chinese with utmost glee. It's rebellious inductive reasoning at its most immoral.

Not to say that all my arguments against Christianity and the Chinese are now unfounded. Christianity truly does have a horrible self-righteous side to it's system and the Chinese's instinct to arrogantly feel superior and self-indulgent is always present in all Chinatowns you walk on but let's leave that to another blog entry.

Of course part of myself recognizes what pushed her to decide to move us out here. To an odd sense, i can appreciate what she did, however, accepting her decision is another thing. As much as we shouldn't count what we have lost and at what price do our choices warrant, i can't help but think about the things i've let go just to follow her wishes: lucrative job opportunities, 12 in total, and various responsibilities and people that i've had to disappoint by my departure. It all just adds to the bitterness.

It's definitely unfair to blame every thing that I deem wrong with myself to my mother, i definitely do not. It was a conscious choice on my part and responsibility primarily falls upon myself. But cost is something we can't overlook especially if a decision (like this migration issue) is made not through agreeing out love but through surrendering out of respect for parents. I'm not advertising myself as a moral person, in fact this post is anything but that. This is an attempt to first recognize how hideous i have become and second, to understand why i'm so fucked up.

I am at a point of indecision. Recently my mother learned of the sacrifices i made by coming here especially with me prematurely leaving the Glee Club and not being able to tour Europe with them. She admittedly feels guilty about it. Guilty enough to arrange flights and an itinerary and stop short of commanding me to go to Europe joining the group for the latter leg of their trip. Perhaps as a way for her to buy back what we've lost in our relationship or even to buy herself out of guilt.

As a testament to how hideous a person I am, I don't know what's more important to me right now. Allow my mother to live out her guilt or join my friends in Europe for two weeks and alleviate that guilt from my mother?

I can honestly say that her feeling guilty gives me a tinge of satisfaction. It's a sincere sweet taste in my mouth knowing that she's agonizing about the fact that she made me lose so much, even thinking about it indulges me. This is how horrible a person harboring bitterness inside can turn out. I'm literally admitting and attesting to how monstrous a son I am for feeling elated at my mothers expense.

I don't know if this post is a confession or merely an aired out secret. A confession requires a change of heart but my situation has come to such a sad point where I do not know if want this bitterness and anger to go away. Bitterness is a scary thing to hold.